Don't Know How to Feel.

53. It's Now, Not Never

Lingering silence, mumbled words, cautious glances. All covered up by exuding the usual confidence you'd expect from these two.

And for what? Wilbur didn't know. But that's what it's been like with Tommy these past couple of days.

Wilbur promised. Promised. Promised that he would start talking to Tommy. Stop keeping him in the dark and let him choose to grow some form of trust.

But he hadn't done it. Not yet.

So the days are filled with casual but meaningless conversations, distracting their minds from the ever-so-obvious fact that they need to talk. And whenever it comes close to being a possibility, unsure looks and carefully chosen words, it just gets tossed to the side- pushed back even more.

But this time it wasn't Wilbur holding back.

Tommy, for some reason unknown to his brother, kept shoving down any rising sentences that would lead to their long-awaited conversation- even his own words. Pushing them down, drowning them in a loud laugh as he makes a joke would purposefully offend Wilbur- purposefully distract him. And just like that, they don't talk about it.

But Wilbur wanted to. When he first seemed to figure out that Tommy was avoiding talking too, he was relieved, he'll admit. But now he was just concerned. He was done pushing this back into a broken box, only bringing it out to shove more in it. Then back it went, away... but still there.

Tommy wanted to talk too, he really did. But, if he was being honest, he wasn't exactly as confident about it as he was before. What does talking really mean? Now that he had actually sat and thought about it, he knew that he didn't know.

So to say, he was nervous and completely doubtful. But curious and ever more hopeful.

Doubtful and hopeful. However, that works.

And maybe it was gonna have to work. Because sure Tommy's walking back to his and Wilbur's place right now with Ranboo, but Ranboo couldn't stay there forever. After all, Wilbur specifically asked Tommy to come over. Wilbur was not going to let Tommy avoid it forever (not that he wanted to). Just like Tommy had told Wilbur in the past.

Promises of the past and future fears, Tommy guessed.

A certain burger van appeared in the distance as they walk closer and closer, under the grey sky that really shouldn't be grey, considering the warm sun that's gently pouring light across the land. But it was anyway, grey like a stone wall. A wall of a dead end. They're talking and it was gonna happen soon.

That's the plan, Wilbur thought. He didn't want to push this farther anymore. There was no reason not to.

So he waited, sitting on the small armchair in their living room, flipping through the pages of the same old book he's been rereading for a while. To ease him a bit, familiarity was always nice.

Wilbur's head shot up in the middle of a sentence, setting the book down as he hears to door open. And sure enough, Tommy walked through and Wilbur clears his throat.

"Hello Tommy," He greeted him with a small smile, about to stand up just as Ranboo walks in. "... and Ranboo, nice to see you too."

Now that wasn't the plan.

Ranboo greeted him back, happy and unaware of the way Wilbur shrunk in on himself. It seemed Tommy was too, sending a quick "hey Wil" to the man before closing the door and continuing his previous conversation with Ranboo.

"Uh, Tommy," Wilbur tried a second time, the first one more of a mumble and unheard by the others. Tommy looked over and Wilbur raised an eyebrow, "Wh- I was hoping we could talk, you knew that right?"