Untouched Love

14

"Hey... you made it home ok?" I sent.

"Yep!" He responded almost right away...

"Ok good, just wanted to be sure!"

He left me on read. I know I know, not only did we just see each other but how do you respond to what I said? It just wasn't like him.

"Hey are we okay? You don't normally leave me on read and it's probably me being stupid but ya..." I sent him nervously, almost not wanting to know the response because I felt like I ruined things somehow.

"Sorry! I just didn't know how to respond to that last message and honestly I didn't know if things were awkward between us now...I feel like I said something wrong."

"No no...I guess I just kind of was curious where we stood on a few things."

"Yes, ask away!"

"Be honest please. Is the reason why you don't want to date because you want to flirt and see other people as well?" I sent that and put my phone down instantly with my heart racing. This is where he's really going to tell me the kind of future he sees with me and I'm terrified to know the answer.

"No...that's not why...not if we have something together."

Oh my god that was such a relief to hear. I feel like I can actually breath now and not be an anxious mess.

"Really?? You have no idea how much of a relief that is to hear that! I totally respect that you are not mentally ready for a relationship right now okay? Please know that I am not going to push or make you feel forced at all to get into a relationship. You are more than enough waiting for and I will wait as long as it takes."

"Fuck that made me grin so hard...that honestly means so much to me, thank you so so much for understanding:)"

"Of course!" I replied.

I don't care how long I have to wait. I would wait for as long as it takes, because he honestly is so worth it and I want to be with him. Good things are worth waiting for.

After clearing things up with him I headed straight to bed.

January 15th

I spent most of today just writing. Everytime I find myself overthinking I always put my words into notes. I don't know why, but it makes me understand it from a different angle once everything is written out in front of me. If I ever were to write in front of him I'd always turn away so he couldn't read it and he would always push and push, trying to get any information out of me.

I would always decline and say it was "nothing" or that it was "something I'd read to you someday".

So even though he didn't know the specifics, he knew it was about him.

I've been worrying about a lot of things actually. I'm worried that this won't go anywhere, worried that I'm falling more for him than he is with me, worried that I'll become too clingy like I always do and scare him away. I have always acted the same in relationships but Andrew made me want to change that. He made me feel like I didn't have to worry about all this stupid stuff and I found myself questioning everything less.

I also had started writing about Andrew. I started writing all this the first week we met. How he made me feel, how I felt about him, all our adventures together so far, and one day I would show it to him. One day when I know that he's ready for us. I'll let him read everything. Until then, I will write everything about him and about us until the time is right.

We would hang out for the next week on and off, every other day, I'd stay the night every time. Things were going so well between us, it just felt so right.

January 22nd

I woke up to a text from Andrew, which is honestly one of the best things to wake up to.

"Hey we got someone to cover the last bit of my shift so I'll get home by 3:30ish if you want to come over just before 4!:)"

"Oh okay, yes I'd love to!" I responded, with butterflies in my stomach and the biggest grin spread across my face.

It was currently 11 am and I had to drive 2 hours to see him so I started getting ready now. I always want to look my best for him, even though he tells me I don't have to wear an ounce of makeup I still like feeling pretty for him. Curling my hair and putting on eyeliner and lashes. That was kind of my go to makeup look nowadays.

After getting ready I put on my warm winter jacket to brave the cold and headed for Andrew.

"Hey, I just parked!"

"Ok, come on up!"

It doesn't matter how many times I've seen this boy...I get butterflies every single time.

Because it was so cold today we decided on having a lazy day and just stayed in. We watched movies, cuddled on the couch and ordered food.