Untouched Love

32

When we had no label I was fine with him having the app because he made it clear he didn't want to date, so I felt as though I didn't have a say in the situation...but now that we've dated it's completely different.

Because now he had looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me. He stayed up until 4 am with me just to reassure me that I was enough for him when I was having my doubts and felt insecure. He held me tight and wanted me to empty out my flurried mind so I didn't go to bed overthinking.

All of that just to flirt with other girls as soon as we broke up? Was none of it even real? Who the fuck does that to someone mentally...right when I was getting better too...

I got out of the bed and left without saying a word. Drove home and blocked his number.

Ya...that's what I should've done...but we all know what really happened.

I stayed.

He eventually woke up and we headed for the bar.

I could barely look him in the eyes. It hurt too much.

We ordered our drinks and sat down. I acted the most fake I ever had that night. You never want to show them how bad you're hurting...that's what gives them the power...and nothing good is going to come out of you pleading and begging.

He looked over at me, like he used to, as if I was the only one in his life. He then looked at me slightly confused, parting his lips slowly.

"Um...so I wanted to ask you something." He said while twiddling his fingers together.

"Hah, why do you sound so suspicious about it? What's up?" I asked awkwardly, not knowing why he was suddenly so nervous.

"Would you like to see a movie with me on Friday?"

That was it? We've gone on plenty of dates, why was he being so weird about it...but that wasn't the only thing he wanted to ask.

"Then I was hoping...only if you wanted to of course...that you could stay the night and I could make you breakfast in the morning and we could go out and do something fun."

What the hell is this boy's angle, I swear to God. You don't want to date me, but you still want to see me twice a week, take me on dates, tell me good morning, hold me like we're the last two people on earth and get sad when I leave. Yet you won't commit. You want to date me without the label, without all the responsibility...and I'm letting you. I'm sitting back letting you have everything you want while you go live your life. Because I still love you.

As you can probably imagine, I said yes to going to the movies with him.

We finished up our drinks and headed back home.

After getting home, he checked his work schedule and let out a sigh. "Dammit...turns out I actually have an opening shift on Saturday so now I can't make you a nice breakfast. Shit, I was really looking forward to that." He said in a quiet, moody tone.

"Oh don't even worry about it, we can raincheck. We still get to watch a movie and I can stay over, I'll just leave in the morning when you do." I replied with a fake smile, feeling slightly annoyed with the situation still.

"Ok, awesome, I am very excited :)" He said, oblivious to everything going on because he had no idea what things I knew.

We got under the sheets and got ready for bed. I turned away but he pulled me into his warm embrace, kissing my neck and wrapping his entire self around me, making sure I stayed warm while I slept. I hated every bone in my body for being so incredibly weak for him after he hurt me...but I could tell I had no plan of walking away anytime soon.

We woke up at 8 am sharp, hitting the snooze button so we could have but just 1 more minute together.

"Hey Julie?" He asked me in his adorable tired voice. "You don't have to do this, but Paprika has to be dropped off at doggy daycare today at 11 but I'll be working and my family is out of town."

"Oh. Yea, I can do that, that's no problem at all." I said.

This was the first time I had ever stayed at his house while he went to work.

He took a quick shower and got dressed for work, kissing my forehead before he left. I'm just glad I got to sleep more honestly, I'm really not an 8 am kind of person.

Paprika had fallen asleep curled up in front of me, resting her little wet nose on my arm. It only took me about 10 minutes before falling back asleep in the warm sheets that smelled of his cologne.

2 hours later, my alarm woke both me and the puppy up. I quickly got dressed and walked her out to the car. Luckily the daycare was just a 2 minute drive from Andrew's house, so it made things easy, especially on these cold winter days.

After dropping her off, I didn't want to go home...so I texted Andrew.

"Hey! Just dropped the puppy off. Do you think I could head back to your place for a bit? I just didn't sleep well and your bed is so comfy."

"Ya, that's totally fine!"