Pain and Serenity

jokes on you

Was this all a game to you

Was I just a toy you can manipulate to your dispense?

Just an item that was meant to fulfill the desire you had

A game that you would play then brag about to your friends

I know I am worth more than that

But I let you use me this way anyways

Even when I would say things were through

I always found myself running back to you

And I know it wasn't the way you treated me that much is true

Maybe at first when everything was new

The flowers, the gifts, and the time we would spend together was the thing I cherished the most

That all seemed to have faded away within a month or two

You showed me who you really are

Nothing more than a demon that was seeking to suck out all signs of life

To break me in a new way everyday

To find amusement in my pain

One thing is for sure I was the one that was always there for you

When you came back drunk stumbling on invisible bumps

Aggravated enough smack me down without a word being said

But I was there to heal up the wounds you came with

Sat by your side when everyone else has left you for dead

Giving you the words of reassurance that you weren't useless

When you had crack on the surface, I was quick to fix them

It was me not them, not the women you knowingly invited into our bed

Not the women that were there for a fun time to then leave again

It was me that was always putting up with the dilemmas that you put me in

All the pain that I have endured just to be with you

All of this has to come to an end

And it finally will

I am not longer the center of a joke that you tell your friends

I am not the girl that others walk up to saying, "I slept with your man."

That all ended the day I packed up my things and left you for good

I made it my mission to put myself first despite everything that you have put me through

I cannot completely blame you because I chose to stay with you like a fool

I do thank you for all the lessons that you have taught me throughout the months that I have been with you

So many lessons of what not to do

Although not all were bad you did teach me that I am more than what I let others see

The day I left was the best day of my life

To pack up all my things and leave of course to have the decency to leave a note and say good-bye

Now I'm on my own but living a better life

I am finally putting my pieces together and working on the image of who I really am

Jokes on you to think that I was going to stay by your side to be left to rot and die

I am no longer the butt of every joke

Because I finally found my purpose in life

I am done living in the shadows of others, I am finally going to take my strides

This is who I was always meant to be

Jokes on you that you lost a queen