"JUST YOU" [Yoonmin]

Memories - "Friendship and Journal Entries"

Warning: This chapter contains Mature Adult content that may not be suitable for some readers. Please approach with extreme caution advised!

Jimin's P.O.V.

I was 10 when I met the quiet boy, Min Yoongi. He sat behind me in every class of every school year. (I definitely had a say in this, being #1, you get a lot of pull, but no one had to ever know this.)

I had just moved up 2 grades and the only seat available was the one in front of him. He always looked lost in thought, and I could see the pain of longing in his eyes. He was so mysterious but cool at the same time. He was nonchalant about everything and could really care less what other people thought of him.

At first, I was just "intrigued". He was funny, mouthy, great with instant comebacks, had a "Fuck You" attitude, was always sleepy, and wrote so beautifully and professionally.

He expressed words of loss and love, compassion, heartaches. His mind flowed with such intelligent words of wisdom for such a young man at the age of 12.

Then I grew "fond" of him. I started to take interest in his habits and learn his weaknesses. I memorized his routines, his likes, and dislikes, and of course I knew his class schedule by heart. And wouldn't you know it, they just so happen to be the same courses as mine *wink*.

He wasn't much of a conversation starter, he hated small talk, especially public speaking, and despised physical contact even more. But...he was a great listener. I could tell him anything and everything and I knew I could trust him with my life. My heart.

I came to learn over the years that hyung might have been quiet behind the scenes, but he was most certainly caring in his own way. He was just a big soft fluffy teddy bear that needed a lot of love and attention. He needed someone to break through the guarded walls that he had built around himself. He needed someone he could trust to knock them down. He was protecting a broken heart that Jimin learned was not cold, but kind and warm.

The "fondness" I had early grew attached to eventually expand into "like" which would then, in turn spread throughout my heart, and grow into "love".

They say that "the heart grows fonder". But they also say when you're young you are too immature and naive to understand what real love is. That it's "just a phase". But for me I was head over heels, and I was falling fast. Just because I was young, didn't mean my feelings don't matter. That I didn't know or acknowledge what was going on in my heart.

Even if it's long-term or short, I still felt actual real feelings and emotions. What I was indeed going through at the time did in fact actually matter and was real. Those young memories and feelings were just as important to me as a young adolescent kid as they were as if I was an adult with a ton of experience.

So, when I realized I was gay, so many things were happening to me at once. I was lost and confused, such an emotional wreck. Would anyone accept me the way I was...am? Would *he*? But because I had so much always going on, I never really had time to think about it. I had grades to maintain, a popularity status to uphold, and of course my track meets.

The only time I ever got to really accept myself was when I was alone. I would embarrassingly take care of my arousals in the showers or if I awoke from a steamy wet dream. At which time I would then let my hands travel down south, let my fantasy run wild and take my sweet, slow time as my eyes would roll to the back of my head and my toes would curl around a pool of sheets.

Each time when I was alone in my own room, my own thoughts would flood in and I'd daydream about a quiet beautiful boy being the one doing all of these erotic things to me.