EYE OF THE STORM | k.kazuha

15: FAMILIAR

After a good meal and chat with Xiangling, you continued your journey in Liyue harbor.

Next up: Shopping.

Although the night market wasn't open yet, the boutiques were. The clothes looked dazzling and the antiques looked exquisite. You went to try a few clothes on, asking the samurai for his opinions.

He looked at you fondly, finding that the urge to smile was now uncontrollable. You looked so happy finally being able to wear clothes that weren't borrowed. He thought the smile etched on your face was straight out of a painting. Kazuha wished he could stop this moment in time and see the joy on your face, forever.

"Do you think this is too... out there?"

"There's no such thing. If it makes you happy, then wear it. You're not the type of person to care about what people think, aren't you?"

"I mean, I don't care what others think. I just care about what... Never mind, I'll buy it." You rushed off to the dressing room.

Kazuha was confused but heard your sighs from behind the curtains. You have changed since you first met. Before you were reserved, a little cold and lonely. Now you were more sensitive, gaining the courage to be honest with your feelings whilst making new friends.

Kazuha thought it was a nice change in your character, even if you didn't agree sometimes.

After shopping, your last stop was Bubu Pharmacy. You put it last on the list seeing as it was farthest away from everything else. Kazuha stayed behind, wanting to find those maple leaves he was unable to buy on the day you met. The air in Yujing Terrace was certainly different from the bustle of the Feiyun Slope and Chihu Rock.

The way up was quite long, but eventually, you made it. The herbalist asked for a prescription, which you gave. You hadn't read what was written, so when the man gave you two bags of herbs and first aid supplies, you were quite shocked.

"I heard the Crux clash is coming soon? No wonder this much wound dressing was ordered..." Herbalist Gui muttered.

"Ah... Thank you for this."

"Of course! Stay safe on your way back!"

The herbalist was a good person, you could sense it. He cared for people's health and was kind. He reminded you a lot of Yui. She said that if she weren't constrained by her family's demands, she'd be a soldier in the military. She used to practice first aid on you, and secretly practice using a spear as well. Yui wanted nothing more but to be strong enough like you and to become someone who fought for what's right.

You sometimes wished she didn't look up to you so much. You were forced into an unfortunate circumstance, that's why you had to be strong. Life in Liyue taught you that a life of peace instead of constant fighting was exactly what you wanted.

You wished to tell her that you realized it was okay to not be strong all the time, people will understand.

"I should write her a letter soon... It's been three months. Okay, where's Ka- Yui?"

You stopped in your tracks, staring at what seemed to be an older version of Yui. The woman's hair was a pale blue that curled beautifully, just like hers. Her height and form would be what you'd imagine she'd look like now. The woman was standing at the adventurer's guild, talking to Katheryne when a blonde walked up to her.

It snapped you out of your trance, but you stood there frozen. You could do nothing but look at the woman who reminded you of your younger sister. The tightness in your chest only worsened as the feeling escalated.

You walked away from the two and headed outside the city gates. Your breaths became ragged as you started to tear up. You hated a lot of things about yourself, but leaving Inazuma without consulting Yui was your worst sin. She loved you like a sister, let you enter her world, and yet you left without even a proper goodbye. Seeing her now, or at least someone who looked like her reminded you that there are things you just can't escape.

You abandoned Yui.
You are exactly like your parents, and still, you thought you deserved a new life here in Liyue.

"Hey, are you okay? I was looking for you!" The voice was distant.

"Y/N? Hey, hey, hey, come here." You felt a warm presence envelop your entire being. The same feeling of a home.

It calmed you down.

You cried into Kazuha's chest while holding him tighter. This pain was incomparable to anything you've experienced. The beatings, the loneliness, the fighting, nothing compared.

You felt regret and disgust. Up to this day, you still felt as if a peaceful life in Liyue wasn't what you deserved. An honest job wasn't what you deserved. Full meals weren't what you deserved. Friendship wasn't what you deserved.  A home wasn't what you deserved.

You deserved to be punished for what you've done, not only to innocent people you've harmed but for what you did to Yui.

"Let go of me." You stated.

Kazuha did not listen and pulled you in closer.

"Please, let me go. I don't deserve this... Please.."

"You deserve everything. I know you feel as though all the crimes you've committed in the past make you evil, but I assure you, you are a go-"

"I left her behind, and now... If anything happens to her... I can't protect her. I just left and... I'm terrible. I don't deserve anything."

You tried getting out of his embrace, hitting his chest in frustration. He said nothing but kept his grip tight as he stroked your head comfortingly. Some people looked but he did not pay any mind. He focused on you, and only you.

"Let's go back to the ship, hm? Then let's talk and then rest."

Your cries had abated. You nodded softly and accepted his scarf, which he wrapped around your neck. Kazuha let out a gentle smile and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You stayed there, relishing the warmth and comfort.

You did not deserve this, you knew it was selfish. But just for a moment, even for a blink of light, you only wished to stay beside Kazuha.