April 1st

89 9 6
                                    

What I hope to capture
With this book of mine I hope to capture the true duality of being sixteen,
As this is the worst-best, and best worst time of my life.
I've never been happier, I've never been more myself.
I feel the light everywhere I go, life gets better and moves on from the times that don't.
I feel truly grateful to be alive today.
At the same time, I've never been lower, I've never been more miserable and I hope I never will be.
I feel detached and have never been this far from peace.
I say both the statements are true, neither one cancels out the other,
That's just what it means to be this age, that's just what it means to be human.

A break from writing
It's been many months since I've made a genuine and consistent effort in my writing,
I haven't written anything but a to-do list and diary entries.
It's a strange feeling looking back on the days of daily writing and logs,
It all feels so far away,
Writing was a big part of who I was until I became tired of it,
But I hope I can step back into my old writer self.

The constants
I used to spend so much time wrapped up in the forever.
Every moment was the rest of my life, every emotion, interest, self, all of it was a lifetime guaranteed.
A month or so ago I realized the only constant is change, the only thing that will last for my entire life is the changing of it.

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