A hopeful chapter, ending my little dark age.
A goodbye letter
I have spent many months in my little dark age.
I needed to feel my aching bruises before they could heal.
But now I get the sense that this time is coming to an end, I have written my last poems for this chapter, the struggle needed to happen but it doesn't have to last.
I don't say I'm turning a new page because I am better, I don't say this because I know what to write about or because the sun is shining, I say this because I'm ready to change.
I'm ready to make sense of things and do things in a different way.
So this is goodbye to my little dark age, thank you for being here and thank you for pulling all that needed to be pulled out of me.
You don't know what to do so you do anything you like
I often find myself clueless as how to move forward,
Where to go next, how to get there, it's all something my fingertips can't quite grasp.
In times like this I must remind myself it's okay to have a lack of understanding, when you walk in the right direction the sun shines brighter, even if you are unsure where the next sunflower field is, every step you grow closer.
And I mean it
In the past I used to push myself to write about the sunny days when it was raining.
I spent so much time underneath it's harsh storm that I would attempt to write as if the clouds weren't there.
They were there, and pretending did nothing but leave me aching.
Today I can write about my happiness and hope in a way that is genuine.
I mean it when I say the sun is shining.
A point of pride
It wasn't long ago that being sober felt like biting my hand until it bled.
My fingernails dug into my palms, every moment felt like I was forcing myself into something that would never work.
Two full days of sobriety was a point of pride because of how much I stumbled to get past the forty eight hour mark.
It was incredibly difficult, but I feel as if I am walking into a moment of change.
Yesterday I was sober, I didn't think about the warm feeling, it was already there, that day without a bottle came to me with more ease then I'd ever imagined.
YOU ARE READING
Letters from sixteen
PoetryA poetry book I wrote during periods of my life with many different facets. I wrote about happy moments, addiction, and trauma, the book becomes more depressing as it goes on. I choose the title "letters from sixteen" to capture how I wanted to capt...
