Fluorescent adolescent is a song by arctic monkeys. I've been listening to the band for a while, but only a couple songs at a time, I've recently come to really enjoy the band, this song especially. Mostly highlighting the struggles I am having at the moment. Likely a very messy chapter.
TW: SA
Everything's in order in a black hole
In recent days I feel so haunted but what once has been, the external world isn't the dangerous place it used to be, it's gotten to be happier and safe, yet I feel like I'm falling down a pit, simply waiting to hit the ground.
In my past I was left to feel unsafe and alone, like the horrors that were happening were between me and the person causing them.
Those days are over for him, those days are over in the physical sense, but they have not ended for me.
The memories continue to come into my dreams and seep into my days.
So maybe it is over, maybe I should just move on, but I am struggling to see a day without these struggles.
Rather just forget it
I often wish I could simply forget about the past that haunts me, but it is in these times I must remind myself that most of my worst years were in failed attempts to do so.
The thing about trauma is that when you are surviving it, sometimes it's easier to pretend like you are not, but when you are safe it becomes harder to pretend.
When the abuse ends the memories cease to do the same.
Although I knew there was no forgetting I sure tried to. I tried in every way I could possibly think of.
But there is no around, only through.
YOU ARE READING
Letters from sixteen
PoetryA poetry book I wrote during periods of my life with many different facets. I wrote about happy moments, addiction, and trauma, the book becomes more depressing as it goes on. I choose the title "letters from sixteen" to capture how I wanted to capt...
