I knew it was a game. Damn but a good game it was for as long as it lasted.
"Let me go." I whisper.
He stares at me. His face turning so cold. "Fine." He says letting up on the grip of my arm.
"I'm done playing this game."
...
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One
Two
Then three
Breathe, four
Five
Then suddenly everything gets louder. The sound of ticking clocks in open patient rooms ring continuous loops inside my head. The bubbling sound of my blood sloshing inside my veins. The repetitive tapping of someone's shoes on the dirty tile. Even the sound of people breathing and picking at their clothes pull annoying strings on my brain.
Then, I lose it. My sanity. "Stop! Stop breathing so damn loud in my ear!" The yells of my voice echo through the empty waiting room.
Cassandra flinches and holds her breath. She releases it after about twenty seconds but she gulps and it's just too loud. Painfully loud. My fists curl and I push myself up out of the blue fabric chair. I pace at the door of my mothers room, watching every silhouette of the doctors and nurses inside. My fathers face is cold and unbothered when I turn back. Cassie looks like she just ran through the rain with her mascara tracing lines down her cheeks... Mason just stares at me like I'm something fragile and he's afraid someone will push me off the edge.
"What were you three even doing out! You know that your mother is sick and dying." My heart suddenly feels heavy with the pain of my fathers words. "This is all your fault Anastasia. If you would have just grown up and accepted the fact that she's dying maybe this would have been prevented." My fingers twitch at the thought of Mason hearing our conversation.
I do blame myself. I got angry and my mother got worried. I ran and so did she. Of course it's my fault. I know it is so I don't need another fucking voice telling me it is.
"I get it! It's all my fault. Everything's my fucking fault!" My voice pitches and my body grows weak. I slide down the wall to sturdy myself better. "It's my fault." I mumble. The silence is thickening and dull. No one raises a head at me or my father. No one's lips part to talk and everything's quiet once more.
A pair of shoes appeared in front of me. They crouch to the point their knees bump into mine. "It's not your fault, Anastasia." Mason's hushed tones calms my body. He tips my chin with his fingers. "Life sucks and it makes bad things happen to good people because it knows the world would be too great with them flourishing happily in it."
I push his hand away. Shying to the side to only catch a glimpse of my father so I turn back. "Why? I just don't understand..." I lean forward, my mouth between my knees. "It's not fair, Masy." The words come out as whimpers from my mouth.
He secretly takes my left hand in his. Our view of forbidden actions is not in my fathers line of sight. "All you can do is hope she is well." Hope; something so stupid and childish.
