Vengeance of the Battered

Chapter 7

“He’s trying to fight his inner self, Kris. Kanina no’ng nasa loob ako kasama siya, he’s trying everything he could para lang hindi ako ‘yong masaktan niya…”

“Instead he scratched his own wrist.”

Mangiyak-ngiyak na bumagsak ang tingin ko sa asawa kong payapang nakahiga sa couch. “What can we do, Logan? Mayroon ba akong magagawa para maging maayos na ang kondisyon ng asawa ko?”

“As I say, sarili niya lang ang makatutulong sa kanya, Kris.” Mula sa kanyang table ay nakatanaw siya sa nakahigang si Liam. “DID can be controlled, but it cannot be cured. There are some medications and treatments that help patients with DID manage themselves for the rest of their lives.”

“Liam could undergo psychotherapy and he really needs this right now. As I mentioned, makakatulong kay Liam kung matuto siyang maging open sa sarili niya at sa kondisyon niya kausap ang isang mental health professional na willing siyang pagkatiwalaan about his life. And his trusted mental health professional could also help him to deal with his disorder, para latagan siya ng mga tips only for a healthy lifestyle and possibly to elucidate him that the number one thing he could do to deal with his disorder is to stop thinking it’s his fault for having that.”

“And so much more, Kris.” Nakikisimpatya ang mga mata niyang nginitian ako. “You just have to invest your trust in your husband. Kailangan niya ng suporta at pagmamahal mo all the way to his medication, but still always keep in mind to protect yourself also and stay away with him when you start to smell the one you’re talking to is not your husband anymore.”

I heaved a long sigh. “Of course. May inosente akong bata sa sinapupunan ko ang kailangan ko rin syempreng protektahan.”

Sandali muna akong lumabas ng clinic ni Logan matapos ng pag-uusap namin sa kadahilanan na ring hindi ko na kinayang pigilan ang sariling maiyak. Every time na nakikita ko ‘yong asawa ko sa kondisyon niya ngayon, it’s just so hard for me.

Bigla akong na-guilty sa mga araw na kinamuhian ko siya dahil sa ilang beses niyang pagbubuhat sa akin ng kamay. Ilang beses ko ring inisip na sobrang malas ko na nagpakasal ako sa lalaking kagaya niya. Ilang beses akong dinemenyo ng utak ko na pumutok na parang bula ang pagmamahal ni Liam sa akin at biglang nawala.

But now being aware of his condition, I could clearly understand that his love for me never changed… but his alters controlled my mind to think that he does.

*****

“You’re crazy!” Sinampal ako ng mama pagkapasok na pagkapasok niya sa bahay.
“Could you please stop acting like a professional?! Huwag mong ipagmamalaki sa akin ‘yang degree na natapos mo kung hindi mo naman nagamit ‘yan paglabas mo ng eskwelahan!”

“Pag-aalaga ng anak at paggawa ng mga gawaing-bahay lang ang alam mo, ang kapal naman ng mukha mong magdesisyon na dalhin sa psychiatrist ang anak ko?! And you even say he’s having a mental disorder?!”

Nakanginginig ang bagsik ng mga tingin niya sa akin, that even some of our household workers getting terrified by her.

“Walang baliw sa pamilya namin, Kris. Ikaw ang baliw!”

“Now you’re saying the diagnosis of a licensed psychiatrist is just merely falsity?” Aakyat na dapat ang mama para pumanhik sa kwarto namin ni Liam, ngunit nagsalita ako behind her back. “You’re saying a licensed psychiatrist misdiagnosed your son to have DID. Gano’n ba, ma? After he showed some of the symptoms of this disorder, you call it misdiagnosis?”

“He just be can’t-”

“O baka hindi mo lang po matanggap ‘yong kondisyon niya, ma?”

I merely talk back to her dahil malaki ang paggalang ko sa kanya. But this matter should not slide.