I'm Theirs (Book 2/2 of the Desire Duet)

Chapter 97: Grace

"Are you sure because I can feed him so you can go back in there?" Taylor asked.

"No, I'm okay, I wanted to see him." I smiled down at him, he giggled making my heart flutter. I crossed my eyes and he laughed. "I love you Luca. My little man." I cooed and Taylor laughed.

"I have to say I thought you would never have kids." She chimed sitting on the counter, wearing black leggings and lose t-shirt.

I thought back to before the doctor told me I was pregnant after Nick, the person I was back then would have refused. I didn't want a child when I knew how they could feel so neglected. I never wanted to have a child to have a chance to screw one up, I thought I was for a long time, I grew up only to fall in love with a narcissist. Then I fell in love with two guys so I guess I redeemed myself.

"I have to agree with that." I sound turning around leaning on the counter and Luca finished his bottle. "That was kind of fast buddy." I looked down seeing his big green eyes and his goofy smile. I set the cup in the sink and Taylor got down a mug and poured a cup of coffee.

"You always said you didn't want kids, never would say why. So, I guess since you have two of them now can I ask why?" She asked and I sighed.

"I didn't want a kid because I thought I was screwed up; I grew up only to fall in love with an abuser." I shook my head. I turned and walked back to the den and brought out the carrier quietly and set it on the counter putting Luca in it. I rocked him gently while I talked to Taylor.

"My parents didn't do anything. They lived around me I mean, you saw." I gestured to her and she nodded. I used to be able to have sleepovers at this very house with her and never did ask just brought her over. My parents just acted like she wasn't here like they acted like I wasn't there. "I didn't want a child because I thought I would screw it up. When that doctor told me I was pregnant, you know what my first thought was?" I asked and she smiled.

"When did I stop taking my birth control or who do I have to sue?" She asked and I giggled.

"No, my first thought was with these men, could I? Could I raise a kid with these men? Would these men want too? Was my second thought." I tilted my head and she nodded. "My only thoughts were consumed with how I would raise a kid. Would it be by myself?" I started and she slapped my arm. I turned looking at her scowling at me.

"You would not have been by yourself. What am I invisible?" She gestured to herself and I smiled.

"I know I would have had you but you would have been Auntie Taylor." She arched a brow and I did the same. "You would have been the aunt to tell my daughter about boys, and birth control because me and you both know a girl only tells her aunt," I got cut off.

"Or her babysitter." Nellie chimed pushing into the kitchen, through the other door. Me and Taylor both laughed.

"Or her babysitter about periods and boys. Or you would have been the aunt to tell my son about gloving his dick before he dipped it anywhere." I remarked and Taylor choked before looking off into the distance like she was contemplating something.

"I could see myself doing that." She shrugged and Nellie laughed opening the fridge. Taylor got a sip of coffee smirking at me.

"But I would still have to be mother and father, that was the thoughts going through my mind. I thought that when I heard that my mind would go worst case scenario but it didn't it was only, 'How would I make sure my kid had the best life despite not having Nate and Mateo if they stepped away?'" I said and Taylor nodded. I closed my eyes and hummed.

"Go back to sleep, I got him." Taylor spoke and I opened my eyes walking to the den and I saw Nate and Mateo awake. I groaned and laid beside Mateo.

"We heard you." Nate spoke and I opened my eyes. They both looked at me but I didn't see judgement only concern.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it." I said and they nodded. "I knew back then we never ever talked about that stuff, we barely talked about ourselves and that was fine for me. I didn't care your pasts only what was going on then, I found out things you did or didn't like by being around you two. I also knew you never promised me forever, we didn't say 'love you' before we went to sleep, I know you did almost that whole time now but I didn't back then. I would not have held it against either of you if you stepped away." I said and Mateo turned his head kissing me.