My Compass Will Always Point to You

Chapter 24: My Therapist's Advice (Tommy's POV)

(The beginning of this chap is basically a very short recap so you guys can get the basic timeline of events.)

It had been a while since Tommy had first gotten back to Ranboo and Tubbo. He had realized just how busy recent days had been for him...

First, he had to spend three days to actually get to Manburg. He didn't sleep on any of those days due to the voices. This caused him to develop insomnia. 

Then, on his fourth day of getting to Manburg, he finally snuck in and found his two closest friends, who had to convince him to actually stay with them. Later that same day, he eavesdropped on his friends talking about him because they were worried about him. After he got caught listening in, the three of them stayed up all night goofing off.

The next day, Tubbo and Ranboo have a 24-hour break. On that day, Tommy wakes up with his eyes red, passes out and sees Mumza/Kristen, and visits Phil to talk about it, knowing that Phil would know something about it. Phil explains, and when Tubbo and Ranboo leave, confronts Tommy about the voices. Tommy falls (surprisingly) asleep there and wakes up the next day.

On that day, he was left alone with only Micheal. The voices told him to harm Micheal, but he refused. That night he tried to sleep and got a nightmare. (He didn't go back to sleep after that)

It had only been four days since all of that, meaning Tommy had stayed in Manburg for only a week so far. The beeduo were pretty busy every day, which made sense seeing how Tubbo was president and Ranboo is his secretary.

"Ugh, curse my fucking stupid past self for making Tubbo president," Tommy muttered to himself, frustrated at his past decisions.

While the three friends were separated for a majority of the time, there was one other person he'd always see, Phil. Phil, after learning Tommy had "side-effects" or voices, took it upon himself to help him using the experience he already had gotten from raising Tech. Every day, Tommy would sneak to his house and leave an hour or two later. Phil was basically his therapist.

In all his visits so far, Phil had been trying to teach Tommy how to block out the voices. Since Tommy didn't have much time to learn, he could only block it out for a few moments. Phil said that the trick he showed him only worked to block them out for 5 minutes max anyway, so Tommy had made a lot of progress for the limited amount of time he had. 

This was his fourth "class" with Phil so far. Tommy thought it would just be like the last three, but it wasn't at all. In fact, it was only too different from those classes...

"Tommy," Phil said seriously, sitting on the armchair facing the couch Tommy was sitting on, "I need you to let me finish what I'm going to say before interrupting me."

Tommy was going to ask why, but Phil put his hand in front of him. Tommy decided he wanted to hear what was so important so he stayed quiet. Phil put down his hand a few moments later.

"I can only teach you so much mate," Phil admitted.

Tommy looked at him with confusion mixed into his eyes. Phil heaved a sigh. A bit of worriedness seeped into Tommy's confused eyes.

"I... I only have so much experience," Phil continued.

It was like a puzzle. The puzzle pieces were Phil's sentences, but without the box giving him a view of the finished product, Tommy was having a difficult time piecing everything together. Phil seemed to pick up on this and heaved out another loud sigh.

"Mate, if I don't have voices it's a bit challenging for me to help someone with voices," Phil stated gently, "It would be better if... if you found someone with that small piece of experience that I don't have-" 

"You don't seriously mean-"

Tommy was about to finish when Phil put his hand up again. Tommy reluctantly stopped talking.

"You already know that I am in house arrest, yes?" Phil asked Tommy, putting his hand back down.

Tommy nodded.

"And you already know it's because I had supposedly been in contact with Techno, right mate?" Phil asked.

Tommy slowly nodded. He knew where this was going, and he didn't want to go there.

"I have a map to where he lives, and I want you to go see him," Phil said.

"And what makes you so sure that I won't turn him in as soon as I get there, or even better, hand the map over to Tubbo and Ranboob?" Tommy asked, not even a hint of a smile resting on his face.

"Because you know that they would probably die if you lead them to Techno... and you still care about Tech," Phil replied, a smug smile creeping onto his face as he said the last part.

Tommy looked away. He hated Phil because he knew him too well. Just by looking into his eyes, he could tell exactly how Tommy felt. The only time when Tommy was unreadable, even by Phil, is when his numb mode was on. If no emotion leaked into his eyes, Phil wouldn't be able to decipher Tommy's emotions. The problem was that he couldn't control when it happened. It just kinda activated whenever. 

(BTW, only Tubbo, Ghostbur, and Ranboo know about his 'numb mode' because they're the only ones who witnessed it. Dream knows of his 'NEAR numb mode,' meaning he's only seen him almost numb, but he's also in fear.)

He didn't dare look back at Phil. Tommy knew he cared about Techno deep down. He just didn't want to admit it. Hearing someone else admit it for him revealed to him how true the fact really was. 

"I don't," was all Tommy said.

Tommy already knew Phil was staring at him with sad eyes. He didn't need to look back to know that. He aimed his eyes firmly to the ground, determined not to meet the ocean blue eyes looking at him while he waited for a response. Tommy heard another sigh as Phil got off his armchair.

"Just think about it," Phil said as he retreated back to his bedroom. 

Tommy finally looked up. He took Phil's sudden exit as a cue for him to leave. Just as he was about to leave, he heard a voice behind him.

"Tell me when you're ready and I'll give you the map," Phil said.

Tommy nodded as he pulled on the hood to Ranboob's long jacket and left.

(P.S. I'm going to try and remember to call Ranboo "Ranboob" in every Tommy POV chap! Also, thx for 143 views and 34 votes! I didn't think this story would get so popular!)