Solitude || Evan Buckley [1]

chapter twenty

a clean slate

Around five in the morning, an alarm ignited in the bedroom awakening Sasha. She shut off the alarm swiftly before fluttering her eyes open to gain a clear vision. Her arm reached to the other side of the bed to which she met nothing but coldness. She closed her eyes for a few seconds until mentally encouraging herself to throw the comforter off and rise to her feet. She shuffled into the bathroom not without peeking at the three-month-old baby in the crib.

The second she stepped out of the bathroom; tiny winces occurred in the crib. She followed the sound starting to grow louder in the bedroom. "I know, I know. My little bean is hungry." Sasha voiced in a hush tone amid picking up her daughter kicking her little limbs in distress.

The tiresome young mother settled back in bed with a pillow to alleviate her daughter on her lap. She undressed her pajama top to breastfeed the wailing infant. With a little assistance from her mother, she finally calmed down once latching.

In silent moments like these, specifically when Monet is no longer using her little lungs to urge her parents to meet her needs. Sasha has learned to relish them regardless of her eyes fighting to go into slumber. Her eyes rested on her daughter with endearment and fascination in how her body managed to grow a human—let alone push out one. However, her body received consequences as she's trying to navigate motherhood and accept these adjustments. It was a lot to take in and remain to be in the last three months.

For example, attempting at breastfeeding to bond with Monet. Of course, there would be times where latching wasn't easy, more so, frustrating when the baby couldn't. Sasha would feel like a failure which would send into a spiral episode. Eventually, she needed to remind herself to take it with grace.

Her finger grazed against her daughter's chubby cheeks then down to hand to which grasped onto it. Without a failure it made Sasha smile and a bit emotional.

"Did you know I'm going back to work today?" She told, suppressing an exhausted giggle. "I'm sure I've mentioned it countless times and today is the day. But I don't think it's right to leave you yet, right?" Her mind conflicted since the days nearing her return from maternity leave.

Buck stood in the kitchen finishing cooking breakfast to bring his girlfriend in bed. He wanted to do something special for her first day back to work and his test to renew his certification for the LAFD. Everything seemed to lay in place in this new chapter since grappling to reach the finish line these last five months.

A pair of footsteps approached the room when he fixed the plates. He lifted his gaze to see his girlfriend with Monet swaddled in her arms. "Thought I had more time to bring you breakfast in bed." He slightly frowned at his masterpiece put together on the tray.

"I don't think I should go back to work today. I should stay home with Monet." Sasha announced in a firm tone. She sighed, narrowing at their daughter holding onto her finger. "Besides, Monet isn't ready to be left alone."