The story of...me !

Part 18

Or at least, I thought it was the best decision that I had made , but anyway . 

Let's begin this chapter with what I thought of the situation . Well about that I can't say much , because I was feeling all at the same time and just couldn't understand what it was, or I wasn't feeling anything at all , and I was empty.

I have something to confess . You remember the feeling I had about Daniel ? The one where I would literary kill for him .. I also had this for Bruce , but this time stronger . I don't know in what other kind of way to explain to you guys how much I loved him . I would try to make an essay , but that I know it wouldn't work , because the love I had for him , it just couldn't be proved by words and describing it in paper . It was more powerful than that .

I was angry with my mom . The deal was that the other day we had a long, long , and very long talk about this subject , but I guess it is something personal and , well after all we talked she still said we could be friends .She made me promise that . I guess that was a very hard thing for me to do , but she was my mother . i had to do it .

Not knowing how to tell Bruce I just stared at my phone for hours . I wished I just disappeared right that moment . Maybe with him and simply escape from everything . Just us . Me and He !

After long hours of thinking I told Bruce. And he simply said .

"I believe I know in what kind of position you are into , so I'm not going to push you do anything or whatever . You decide what is and what's going to be the best for us both . I know you will chose correctly and whatever it is I will honestly support you , will accept it and try not to worry about it . But wait ! First of all I want you to know , that you were , are and will always be the most special person that I have ever known and will ever know . You will always have your place in my heart which no one can replace. You are my best friend and I never ever want to lose you . Believe it or not , I do believe that you are the reason I wake up every day , and I am happy with everything and everyone. And I like the idea that one day I will wake up next to you ."

And these my dear friends were the words that made me change my opinion about everything that I was or wasn't thinking the whole time . It was confusing , because I loved my mom, and I had always kept my promises, but I loved Bruce too.

After thinking again , I decided that faith should do it for me . So I let myself free and only the time would tell me what to do .

As always let's move on .

From Bella and Mathew nothing new , except their unconditional and infinite love of theirs .

Jane passed like a week I guess with Ben and she simply decided that long-distance relationships were not her type and of course everyone can realize that she broke up ,... Again. She started a new friendship with another guy that was actually Bruce's and Mathew's friend . His name was Alex , and he was really nice and handsome . I knew he liked her since the first , because Bruce had introduced me with him once before her . He seemed a very fine boy . But yes of course not at all Jane's type . She had a funny behaviour don't you think so ?

Anyways you know that Jane and Bella were my sisters. I told them about this . Each one thought in a very different way , but of course they helped me a lot , and supported me . They would still help me with everything , and whatever it was going to happen . You can't belive how lucky I felt I had those two . I thanked god about that.

So in this chapter I want to concentrate in my relationship with Jane a little with Bella , and of course what was happening around us. 

Me and Jane .... We talked about everything together . Every subject , every single theme . We knew each other so good . And I thought she could understand me about Bruce .

It's funny what happened between them two , because at first Bruce didn't like her . He actually hated her , and thought she was a dirty girl in any kind of the understanding of this word . And by that time , they were calling each other brother and sister .. hahaha I have to admit that that made me so jealous that I even cried for hours in my room alone when I thought that Bruce was talking to her. But I had faith , and I trusted them both , so I let it go .

Bella always was the one who noticed my pain , or my jealousy whenever that happened , but she always told me there was nothing to worry about .

And one day I was having this conversation with Jane ... I don't know how can I say this , but I will just will write it in the most short way possible , because for me ... It's just bad what happened .

so .... it was something like :

I have to tell you something, but I am not sure .

You can always trust me..

yes I know but .. !

What is it Jane ?!

Look the deal is that I love Mathew . Please tell me what to do ! I swear I am in love with him!

What ?!!?!?!?!??!??

Jane please tell me this is a joke ! Please Jane don't do this.

She saw then how I was acting or I don't know how I even looked in that moment , and she was just like :

Come on it was a joke ! Don't talk about it anymore !

But when it was a joke why did it have to be with him ? You know you can't do this to your best friend Jane !

I said I don't want to talk about it anymore !!

From that moment I just wasn't able to realize how ,, What ,, when.. I just didn't know pffff !

I don't know if Jane told this to Bella , but I noticed that Bella knew about that and I saw her suffering . You have no idea that that moment was probably one of the moments I will never forget in my life . Never !

She kept all her tears inside , and just said determined :

I know that this is going to be hard at first , but if he loves her too , then he can have her ! I have been thinking so much about it and this is what I think should happen. I am sure that i want this . The thing I want more in my life ... Is to see him happy...

That moment o my god I can describe how I was feeling when she finished her sentence with:

" Even if I am not part of his happiness"

Even now I am touched by the words she said . And belive me , I thought these things only happened in movies . I tried my best to be the best support she could have those days .

I couldn't belive what was happening . But I had this feeling of mine that it wasn't true . At the same time I was a hundred and more percent sure that Mathew loved Bella and he would never do a thing like that to her .

We all thought it was better if we didn't tell anyone about this . I ordered them both not to do a thing , because I knew it was just something not worth arguing . Jane couldn't even have the idea of loving him that is what I mean !! Everything was going to be fine . I was sure that she wouldn't do anything to her best friend .

And that did not happened . The situation started going to normality .

The problem was only my relationship with Bruce . We talked . I said :

Now I Sophy Wal.. I mean Peterson . I Sophy Peterson accepted to stay with you till the death part us . And that is what's going to happen.

Since that day I couldn't feel more guilty about anything wrong that I had done in my life . I broke my mom's promise . Guilty ... But I loved Bruce . When he heard this words he couldn't belive it. He hugged me so tight and told me that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me . What can I say after this ?

I belive this should be enough for today !

Yours Sophy!