After

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Now

James

"Sirius, I can explain." James says weakly. Sirius shakes his head in confusion. "It's him, isn't it?" 

James freezes in fear. What is he supposed to say? What would Regulus want him to say? This is his brother. 

"It's my little brother, James! You're in love with my baby brother and you didn't even tell me?" Sirius is shouting now and James doesn't know what to do. He backs away and leans against the wall. 

Sirius pauses and then leans down and looks at his friend. His friend who's in love with his brother. I know that face he's making. He's thinking about something that's bugging him. He's thinking about Reg and I. 

"If the guy you're so in love with is my brother, why are you two so miserable?" Sirius asks me. 

He knows I've been more than just miserable. He knows I'm heartbroken. Completely heartbroken. Sirius has had a front row seat to all of this and has held my hand through it all. Let's just say, it hasn't been pretty. At all. 

"Sirius, we broke up. You know that we broke up. I'm with Lily now." 

"We should probably talk about you and Lily too, mate. For now though, I need to know more about why you two broke up. You seemed really happy before." 

"No need to talk about Lily and I, Sirius. We're in the middle of breaking up right now." I say to him. "As for why Reg and I broke up, I have no idea why. He told me something about his family or his role in the family? I don't even know?" 

"James, that is stupid. Don't let him end something so special just because of our family." 

I raise my eyebrows at his choice of wording. "Special?" I ask him. 

"Shut up," Sirius mumbles. "He's still my baby brother. I'll kick his ass if you need me too but I do care about you both." 

"You do not have to kick his ass," I say to him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him. It was complicated and I wasn't sure if I wanted anyone to know yet about me. Reg didn't either... he wasn't sure what everyone would think about us being together. It's scary-" 

"James, I know how scary it is. Remember last year when I told you about Remus and I?" 

"I know," I mumble. 

"You don't have to be sorry for not telling me. I mean, I'm not pleased but I know it's a difficult position to be in." Sirius says to me. Then Sirius does a double take and his eyes are wide. "What did you mean by you and Lily are in the middle of breaking up right now?" 

"Yeah, we were talking in the compartment and then I needed a break. It's a hard conversation and I needed a break, then I ran into Barty. I was having a panic attack and he talked me through it. You know the rest." 

"You're ending things with Lily?" Sirius asks me. 

"Yeah, it's not fair to her. I'm in love with Regulus and probably will be for a long time. She deserves someone who can give her 100%." 

"Mature," Sirius mumbles. "I can't believe Barty helped you during a panic attack. How does that even happen?" 

"We have an understanding," I say to him. 

"Oh, an understanding. Right." Sirius teases and rolls his eyes. "Go back and break up with your girlfriend, James. We can talk later." 

"Yeah, okay." I say to him and pat him on the back. "We're good though?" 

"Of course." Sirius replies. "Get going. She's probably wondering where you went." 

"Probably dreading my return sounds more like it." I jokingly say to him. He laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

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