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Regulus

Being in hiding is actually very boring. I've been in the room of requirements for a week now and I'm dying of boredom. I'd almost prefer the fight that's coming with my parents than this. Everyone has to go to class during the day so I'm alone most of the time. Barty brings me my work but it doesn't take much effort to finish it. I'm smarter than him, and it drives him crazy. 

After classes, I'm hardly ever alone though. Sirius is always here with me. James comes by every night too but we haven't had a moment alone. Not really. I want to hug him but I don't know how much Sirius wants to witness. He doesn't seem to want to leave me alone with James. 

Remus told me he'd try to give us a few moments alone but it's not easy to get Sirius away. He wants to make sure I'm okay. He wants to protect me. 

It's not that I don't appreciate it, I do. I'm so glad he's here with me... but man do I want to speak to James. 

I miss James. 

I want to say thank you to him for doing this for me.

I want to show him how grateful I am with a kiss. A kiss that Sirius probably doesn't want to see. 

I lay back down on the couch to rest a bit before anyone gets here. There's still one more class before they all come back here and spend their night with me. 

Right as my eyes close, the door opens and I sit up straight. Panic sets in. What if someone found the room? What if it's my parents?

"Sorry, sorry. I forgot to warn you," James says as he enters with his hands raised. "I snuck out of class early to come see you before Sirius gets here." 

"You freaked me out! Merlin James." I say and lean against the couch. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." 

"I'm glad you came though..." I say and move over so he can sit down beside me on the couch. "We should probably talk."

"Is it going to be a good conversation? I feel like most of our talks this year haven't been good." 

That's my fault. It was me that ended us. It was my fault we stopped talking. My fault.

"Reg, stop thinking badly and just talk to me. I'm right here and it's just us." 

"For once," I mumble and he smiles. 

"Yeah, I think Sirius is taking the protective brother thing a little far. He should know I'd never hurt you." James says jokingly. 

"I think he is being a protective brother, but not to me. He's not worried that you'll hurt me, James. He's worried that I'll hurt you again." 

James' smile fades and now he looks serious. 

"I'm not worried though. Reg, I don't care if you hurt me again. Okay? I need to be here with you."

Panic.

"I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to shut me out."

Guilt. 

"I need you to promise me. We're in this together."

"I have to say something to you... and I need you to let me say it. Let me finish, and then you can talk. Okay?" I ask him.

"Okay," James agrees. 

"You know I ended things with you because of the mark, and because I didn't want you to get hurt because of me. I couldn't handle it and I gave up but you... you never gave up on me. Even after I pushed you away, even after you were going through pain because of me, even when you were dating Lily. You never really left. I realised that I can't stop you from doing stupid things like put your life in danger for me. I can't change who you are. You're James Potter... and the truth is, I need you just as much as I ever did. I'm scared James. I don't know what's going to happen anymore. I always thought I'd just do what they wanted- but it's.. it's bad. I can't-"