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Regulus

It's been a week since my last conversation with James. The same one where I told him that I'm trying and to not give up on me. A week since he told me that he'd wait for me as long as it takes. We haven't spoken since then, but every time he sees me, he smiles at me. I smile in return. It's friendly but also cold. We don't speak like we used to. We don't touch. I know that's because I ended things but I have to make sure we're okay before I am with him. I don't want to hurt him. 

Barty and I are sitting in the great hall a little earlier than breakfast. He wanted me to come for breakfast earlier so we could talk about things when no one else is around. 

That means he wants to talk about the next step in my plan to get out. 

At first, I did not expect Barty to understand my want to get out of the life that's been laid out for me. I never thought he would understand why I had to because he was so far down the path. Usually there's no return once you're far enough down that hole. 

Barty understood though. He actually agreed that it's what's best for me. He knows that I can't handle it. 

I got a letter last night and we both know who it's from. Evan was in the room though, so we couldn't speak about it then. I didn't open the letter yet. We both decided to wait until we were alone. 

I pull it out of my robe and was about to open it when the door to the great hall opens and in walks James and his friends. 

"Bloody hell," Barty mumbles quietly beside me. "This guy and his timing." 

"Don't worry about them," I tell him. James is always up early when it's the weekend. When he doesn't have classes. He's strange that way. 

"He can't be here when you read this. If it says what we both think it does, you're going to be hysterical."

"It's fine, Barty. I will be okay. It's just James anyway." 

I don't feel panicked because James is here. His friends... maybe a little because they might judge me or maybe they won't understand... but James being here makes me feel more relaxed. Calmer. 

I glance across the room once and look at James. He's sitting across from me, facing me. I know he's seen me but he's not looking at me right now. Probably just trying to give me some space. 

I open the letter and pull out the piece of paper. 

"You're an idiot sometimes," Barty mumbles but he watches me and waits for a response. Waits for some kind of reaction. 

Inside the envelope, the writing was my mothers. I knew that right away and it did not make me feel any less nervous. 

If it was my father's, I might have felt a little more relaxed... but my mother doesn't care about me. Only my father does. 

Well... sort of. 

There were only a few words on the paper. A small message. No room for argument. 

'The dark lord has a task for you to do. Come home Monday night at 7 and meet with him. He will explain more then.' 

I hand the paper to Barty and lean my head on the table. 

"Fuck," I whisper. "Fuck, fuck. It's too soon..." 

Barty puts one of his hands on my back to calm me down. He knows that works sometimes. 

"We can handle this, Reg. We just have to think about a solution." 

"I'm not entirely sure about that," I say to him. He starts rubbing my back again.