Then
Regulus
I like being alone. Despite having a close friend group and James. Being alone is comforting sometimes. After Sirius left for school, I spent a lot of time being alone and I got used to it. Especially when he ran away. It became my normal. Being around all these people all the time feels strange. Makes me feel like I'm out of place.
Sometimes I have to sneak away and be alone. Which is why I'm flying around on the quiddich pitch. Alone.
Flying is another thing that's very comforting. Being up on my broom, either playing Quiddich or just flying by myself. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, it's nice.
It's nice until I'm interrupted.
I see someone down by the broom closet and they're grabbing a broom. I know it's not Barty or Evan because I left them in the dorm room. They'll be taking advantage of it being empty. It's not Pandora because she already told me not to bother her until her test is over and it's not James because he's in detention for at least another hour.
Maybe it's just someone random who wants to fly. That's possible, right?
Whoever it is is now getting on the broom and... fuck. Is that Sirius? Does he know I'm here?
Probably not. Surely he wouldn't come up here knowing i'm up here. Not unless he's itching for an argument. That's the only time he actually talks to me.
Sirius flies straight up and when he sees me, he freezes in his spot.
He didn't know I was here. I was right.
"Funny running into you here," I speak first because I know he'll just stare a little longer and then go on ignoring me while he does his own thing if I don't.
"I didn't see you," he says to me.
"I know."
There was another long pause before I speak again. "What's got you late night flying by yourself?"
He considers my question for a moment and then replies with, "I could ask you the same question."
That's his way of answering without answering because he doesn't trust me to tell him what he's actually doing out here.
If I have to be the more mature one, I will. For me. For him. And for James.
"I like being alone and being out here is one of the only places I can hide from everyone," I tell him and then I add, "Most of the time anyway."
Sirius doesn't respond right away. He's probably taking a minute to get over the fact that my response wasn't sarcastic.
"I'll go then," he says and I feel the panic in my voice when I say, "No."
He turns around, confused. "You wanted to be alone."
"You didn't tell me why you're here," I say. Thank Merlin I'm good at making up excuses fast.
"Right," Sirius pauses. "I fly when I'm in a bad mood. I'm in a bad mood right now so I thought I'd fly."
"Then fly," I tell him. "Maybe we could-" I stop when I see his facial expression.
"Finish your thought, Regulus."
"Since we're both here... we could play a one on one game... if you- well if you want."
I sound pathetic and desperate. Of course he doesn't want to play a one on one game. We haven't played since we were younger.
We're not friends now.
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FanfictionJames feels like he's drowning without him and only one person can save him. Regulus is longing to be back in his arms but he knows he can't do that now.