Bucky Barnes / Steve Rogers Imagines

Torn Apart (Bucky)

You could remember that night vividly, the night that Bucky left.

Bucky came though the door to your shared home, usually you were happy to see him, but the second he saw you sitting stiffly on the couch he knew something was wrong. His eyes met yours. Usually you would smile deeply at him, welcoming him home from wherever he had been, but this time all you did was take a deep breath. He stopped in his tracks, you could tell that he knew something was wrong. You didn't know if he could, but you hoped he could see the terror behind your eyes.

"Y/N?" he asked softly, before stepping into the living room. You watched as his eyes went wide and you knew that he saw him, the man who had a gun pointed at your head. You stared back into Bucky's eyes your chest heaving your own eyes were watering from the tears you were trying so hard to hold back.

"Hello Soldier." you heard the rough deep voice behind you sneer. Bucky's eyes flicked away from your own staring coldly at the man behind you. You heard a creak and felt the hard barrel of the gun touch the back of your head. You couldn't control the whimper that left your throat. You stared at Bucky, his eyes flicked back to your own before going back to the man.

"Let her go." Bucky growled.

"Oh, I won't hurt her... that is.. if you come with me," the man laughed.

Bucky stared back down into your eyes, in that moment you knew he had already made his choice. The man was too close, if he was in the other room maybe Bucky would have risked it, but with the barrel of the gun firmly planted on the back of your head he knew that if he so much as moved a finger you would be dead. "No!" you cried.

"You won't hurt her, ever? You will leave her alone for the rest of her life, you and whoever you work with?" Bucky whispered.

"Yes, we don't care about the girl, we want you. She will be safe if you come with us."

"Bucky no, you can't trust them. You don't know what they want with you, you don't know what they will make you do. I'm not worth it." you cried. The man shoved the gun harder into the back of your head as you squealed.

"Y/N you are worth everything." Bucky sighed.

You couldn't hold your tears back anymore, they blurred your vision as they ran down your face. "No." was all you could whisper as you shook your head at him.

Bucky looked back at the man, "As long as she is safe, I will go with you." He looked back at you, "It'll be OK Y/N."

You just stared at him, you couldn't believe he was doing this. You weren't worth this, his happiness, his recovery, you weren't worth what they might make him do to others. He stared into your eyes a softness behind them. The man walked around the couch to collect Bucky but the gun never left it's target. He grabbed Bucky by the arm and guided him out the door the last thing you saw before the door shut behind him was Bucky mouthing the words "It'll be OK" once more.

You fell in a heap to the floor sobbing, the only thing going through your mind was "I'm not worth this."

___

Three months had gone by, you and Sam had tried to track Bucky and this mysterious group that had taken him but you hadn't found any leads. You were devastated, you didn't know if it was Hydra or someone else that wanted to control him. You didn't even know if he would know who you were if you ever got to see him again. He had told you the stories of the mind control, how they would wipe his memory any time he might have any sort of semblance of who he once was.

Sam's sister, Sarah, had convinced you to go out and enjoy a little nightlife. You didn't take her for the type but Sam had said he would watch her boys for the night so you couldn't refuse. You didn't know if she was doing it because she liked going out or if she just wanted to cheer you up. You appreciated her effort, even if it was misguided.