JADE (young justice/robin)

25. goodbye

Gotham
January 4, 08:29 EST
Team Year 1

jade.

"Aw kid," Terry said, running tired hands through his greasy hair. "I'm so sorry. That's a shame. She... she was a bright one."

My fist tightened around the strap of my bag. "Yeah."

"Where you headed to then?"

I just shrugged, remembering to pull out the small slip of paper that I had never gotten around to using. The check from what felt like a lifetime ago. "Here."

He took it from me and read it over, his eyes growing wide at the sight of the sum. "What is this?"

"Thirty-five thousand," I said, scanning the rink for a final time. "Try not to spend it all on drinks for me."

Then I walked out of that place for the final time, not even bothering to look back. I walked fast, though my steps felt heavy as I made it to the stop, then onto the bus. I straightened the ruffles in my dress, getting ready to live through the worst day of my life. Well... second worst day.

robin.

Carter was the last one to arrive.

Members of the Team and League were draped in black, all organized into a line to pay their final respects.

She didn't, though. She just rushed to her seat at the front, a backpack of all her things slung over her shoulder. There were only four of us sat with her: me, Bruce, Alfred, and Wally. I kept glancing over at Carter, waiting for her to move or look up, but she didn't. She sat completely still, eyes glued to the floor.

It wasn't until Superman made his way to the podium, that I forced my hand into hers.

"Today we gather in honor of Eden Mae. We..." he seemed to struggle to get the words out, but kept going, "celebrate a life that may have been filled with challenges, but we also know was filled with an endless amount of love."

The first tear escaped Carter's eye. She still didn't move, didn't look up. She was trying her best to keep her composure, but on her blank face a hint of her pain appeared through a single tear.

"Eden lives on through those who cared for her: her Team, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, and her sister, Carter Mae. I'm honored to have lived a life intertwined with hers and I'm certain that she has found peace."

The second tear fell, followed by a low scoff. I knew what she was thinking. "Peace." Whether Carter was some kind of atheist or even just a skeptic, I'm positive that there isn't a single bone in her body that was convinced her sister found peace. In truth, I'm not entirely convinced either. I think Eden suffered and there's nothing either of us could do about it.

Carter must have been thinking the same thing, because a third tear fell.

"And now a few words from Wally West."

Wally put his hand on top of Carter's only for a brief moment, gave it a squeeze, then walked up to the podium.

"It took a long time to figure out what to write for today," Wally said, aimless eyes staring down at his notes. "Took a long time to really acknowledge that this was happening... I kept writing down little notes about happy memories with her, but then I kept getting angry because it felt so unfair."

Carter finally turned to me, finally met my eyes. She looked at them only for a moment, before letting her gaze travel down the bench. Towards Alfred, holding his face in his handkerchief. Then to Bruce, at the end, silently crying like she was, clenching his fists in his laps so hard that they had turned white.

"Maybe it is unfair," Wally said. "Maybe, sometimes things happen in life and it's out of our control. And we get angry and frustrated... It's okay to feel that way. I feel that way. But we wake up, we put our clothes on, and we sit down and allow ourselves to feel that way altogether. It's a small moment and it's brief, but I think it's really beautiful and I think Eden would think it's really beautiful too..."

Another sound left Carter. A sob. She couldn't hold it in anymore. Her eyes clenched shut in pain, as an endless amount of tears coated her cheeks. Her breath shuddered, nose sniffled, and she fell sideways to hold me.

Wally's speech had faded into the background and all I could pay attention to was the most important girl in my life, completely broken down.

Other speeches and words were given, not that I managed to hear any of it. All I could do was sit there and watch her cry until the service ended. Then, it was time to close the casket.

Everyone else went first, paying their final respects if they hadn't yet. Wally and Artemis walked up, crying into each other's shoulders. Roy, Kaldur, Alfred. The only one who hadn't was Bruce. He refused to get up from his seat, unable to even attempt at looking at her.

"Do you want to go?"

Carter looked up at me through misty eyes, still holding my hand tightly.

She nodded slowly, unable to bring herself to words.

I pulled her to her feet, almost as if she'd lost the feeling in her legs. Then I led her forward by the waist, not letting go for a second.

There she was.

Carter requested for a closed casket service at first, but then changed her mind so everyone could see her one more time. She didn't want the way she looked when we found her to be everyone's final memory of her. She wanted them to see Eden as she did, or as I did. Peaceful, beyond the scratches and scars, beyond the hair that was always draped across her face. She looked beautiful. She always was.

Carter lost whatever shred of self control she had left. She turned away, crying into my shoulder, "I can't. I can't do it."

I draped my arms around her, repeating myself over and over, "It's okay. It'll be okay..."

But I wasn't sure how true that was. She was really gone.