JADE (young justice/robin)

31. ruined

Blüdhaven
January 6, 08:54 EDT

jade.

"You know having to pee in a cup for you every month is pretty humiliating."

"Better than doing heroin."

He took the cup and stuck the test strip in, while we waited in the bathroom.

"I heavily disagree."

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"No, just... being honest."

That was complete honesty. It's been a year and the craving is still there, lingering at the back of my mind; numbing the tips of my fingers. The only difference is, I'm strong enough to ignore it now. That's why I like to tell myself, at least.

After sitting in silence for five minutes, Dick finally let out the same sigh of relief he does every time we take the test. "Negative."

The tension quickly left the room. I didn't feel the need to put distance between us.

I got up to wrap my arms around him from behind, leaning my chin down into his shoulder. "You sure? I thought I was pregnant."

His eyes met mine in the mirror, before he turned to face me. "Clean for a year," he said in disbelief. "I'm so proud of you."

His eyes bore into mine, the rough pads of his fingers moved away the stray hairs in my face, and his arms hugged me so tightly too his body.

I couldn't help but lean in. He promised he'd kiss me once I'm better. I'd nearly forgotten what that would feel like; to have his lips against mine or his hands on my body. I'd almost forgotten what it's like to be intimate with him, without him stopping to insist that it was wrong.

It was still wrong.

He moved his head back, keeping our lips from connecting. I could see the regret in his eyes the moment he did it.

"You're still worried," I whispered in defeat.

That, or he just didn't feel that way anymore. I was afraid that all the years he spent taking care of me, had exhausted him beyond loving me. Please say you still love me.

"I just want to be careful."

It didn't matter if he loved me or not. He didn't trust me anymore.

"I get it."

"Carter, it's not that I don't want to," he said quickly, trying to diffuse the already ruined situation. "It's just all the times before when we got this comfortable—"

I removed myself from his arms. "You don't need to explain."

"I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't."

You did. But it's okay. I hurt yours first.

I walked out of the bathroom, switching my attention towards gathering my things.

Dick was quick to follow after me into the living room. Olly decided to make his appearance too, jumping into my training bag in hopes to sneak away with me.

"No, Olly. Get out."

Dick picked up the cat, that tried to squirm out of his arms. "I'll see you at the cave, right?"