JADE (young justice/robin)

41. the last mission

Blüdhaven
May 27, 06:01 EDT

"I really thought you wouldn't lie to me."

"I didn't mean..."

"To lie to me?"

"To hurt you."

The worst part was, I knew that. I knew that he'd never purposely try to hurt me. In his own twisted way this was his form of protecting me from, I don't even know what.

I walked into the bedroom, unable to do more than sit at the foot of the bed and stare at the floor. It was a numb experience. I should be happy I found out one of the more tolerable people in my life is still alive, but the cost of knowing soiled it.

"Carter," Dick approached me carefully, getting to his knees in front of me. He grabbed my hands squeezing them tightly. "If I could have done it the other way and just told you, I would've. And if I had any idea you would get hurt I wouldn't have done it at all, you know that."

"Why'd you do it?" I asked quietly.

"When Kaldur found out Black Manta was his father, you were still at a higher point of your addiction—"

"I said don't—"

"I'm not," he exhorted. "At the time my priority was you getting better. I thought the easiest way was to just keep the plan from you altogether. I was wrong, I realize that."

When did he realize it, though? After I was captured when he still decided not to tell me? After he let me mourn someone I considered a friend? Or right now, because he's in trouble for it?

"Carter, I'm sorry," his voice faltered, hands gripping on to mine a little harder.

One thing was clear, though. This argument wasn't something he needed at the moment. The circles under his eyes were a little darker, his frame the least bit thinner. I could see the toll the escalating missions of the team had taken on him. Now that team was apparently gone.

My not speaking scared him. It made him crumble into my lap, quiet tears wetting the fabric of my jeans.

In truth, I felt sorry for him. The love of my life, going through so much, alone.

My fingers stroked through his hair, the same way I did to Olly when we'd watch movies together. At my touch, Dick began to cry harder. Not just from our fight, but from everything. It had all finally caught up with him.

His hands gripped onto my thighs, face planted into my lap, as his heavy sobs rang through the room. "I'm so sorry," he shuddered.

"I'm not mad at you... anymore," I sighed heavily. "Come on, get up."

I helped him sit upright again from my lap, staring at his red and puffy eyed face. I wiped away the tears from his cheeks like I always did, while he tried to calm down.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," he said weakly, running his hands down my legs. "Or for you to get these scars."

"It's fine," my head shook. "I'm looking in to a way to get them removed."

He didn't entirely understand what I meant, but his face pouted at me in a way that made my heart waver.

"I'm gonna give you a free pass. You've lied to my face and I've lied to yours before, we're even now, okay?" The lingering anger I felt couldn't amount to the heartache I felt for him. To know that he feels this troubled everyday and there's not much I could really do about it, other than listen.