ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜Fire And Honey [Rev. Cass]

BOOK NAME: Fire and Honey

AUTHOR: pjmologist

REVIEWER: Cass ( notyour_unnie )

COVER: (02/05)
I was genuinely prepossessed to mark the cover higher at first, but certain conspicuous factors debar me from doing so. First off, you must’ve blurred the face-claim to make it loom alluring, but it backfires as it draws every basic detail from the cover. Second off, the font employed in the title and subtitle seems quite insipid. Summing it up, I can suggest you clear up your face-claim (hence making it more alluring) and use a more enthralling font for the text.

TITLE: (04/05)
I deem the title to have an unfathomable aesthetic apparent about it, which efficiently suffices to allure in the target audience. Though quite inexplicit in nature, it gives us a good perspective on what to anticipate from the story. I had to mark a point down, just as a quick reminder that this cannot be the apex. If you strive, you can certainly find a better phrase to entitle your work with.

SYNOPSIS: (04/10)
Unlike the other superficial elements, the blurb failed to hook my interests, and I felt somewhat redeemed. Though the quote efficiently briefs us on the core of the plot, it does not quite satiate the purpose of drawing in readers. While I am not asking you to unnecessarily bloat your blurb with descriptive accounts, you can certainly add on a few descriptions and character backgrounds in it.

EXECUTION: (08/10)
The manner in which the execution of the story has been implemented is certainly something I find rather laudable. All the prominent aspects of the story will be individually discussed in the review. To sum it all up, I can prescribe no indispensable modifications for the story, with the omission of the blurb, which requires serious amends.

PLOT: (17/20)
I rather admire the impression the plot leaves on us so far. It is quite engrossing and compels the readers to keep reading. While it’s too early to make any definite judgment, I believe I can assert that I would not be thwarted by the chapter which concludes the story. What I did find strikingly wrong, was that you were occasionally trying to be a tad bit mainstream (though subconsciously). Perhaps this story will be incredibly intriguing in the chapters that follow, I suppose you could have invested a little more energy on the initial stage that the story currently finds itself into. The story seemed a bit deficient in descriptive accounts. Perhaps you can attempt to make it a bit more descriptive, so that one can efficiently exercise the imagery in their minds, hence getting even more engrossed in the plot.

WRITING STYLE: (14/20)
Akin to my aforementioned observation, the story is malnourished in descriptions hence making some parts a bit sketchy. I must admit that not everything seems to fall in  place with the writing style you have employed so far, but I suppose lingering the thoughts rather than just blandly stating everything has a charm of it’s own; one that not everyone can perceive. However, I’ll insist you to make it more descriptive, so that it can be more legible to the masses.

GRAMMAR & VOCABULARY: (15/20)
Your vocabulary seems to have morphed into requisite one, that is, neither too ornate, nor too bland. Every word to be considered in context was used efficiently, and nothing seemed quite out-of-place. Your language was easy to convey and interpreted. Now approaching the grammatical blemishes ostensible in the context, I could spot quite a few. First off, I would really suggest that you decrease the spacing between two paragraphs. Jab the ‘Enter’ key just once while switching paragraphs. Second, punctuate your action and verbal tags accurately. If you are not aware of their general punctuation, you may look it up or PM me. Lastly, you seem to be a bit vexed on the use of commas and semicolons, as I can see that you have misused them at instances. Kindly analyze appropriate sentences of stories to distinguish their purposes.

CHARACTERS & DEVELOPMENT: (07/10)
I cannot say much on this pedagogy, as the story is still at an initial stage. However, I rather like how well it has come off so far. All the characters introduced so far have intriguing personalities, and I will certainly await updates.

TOTAL: 71/100
In all honesty, I genuinely like how well the story has come off so far. I apologize if I was a bit harsh at instances. I am looking forward to more from you. Feel free to PM me if you require aid with anything; I’ll be happy to help.