ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜RUBY [Rev. Kaju]

Book Name: RUBY

Author:  taekurenai

Reviewer: Kaju human_whatever

Cover: 3.5/05
It looks nice, but it could've been better if it also had Taehyung. I think it is associated with the book. Impressive.

Title: 2/05
It's just a name, so nothing quite special about it. Though it creates a certain suspense.

Synopsis: 2/10
There's nothing about the book except one dialogue and a sentence, you need to add more about the characters (in a way it does not spoil the book) before that part and divide them with a hyphen or dash. (- or —)

Execution: 5/10
For the plot till now, the execution was not gripping enough. It felt pretty useless at some moments, and that could eventually get better. Revealing everything from the beginning, like the whole "what happened to Ruby" kind of ruined the flow.

Plot: 15/20
The plot is not much shown yet, but what has been shown till now, is well, pretty confusing. There are a lot of things going on at one time and they get harder and harder to process. It could've been pretty better, like the way you showed the bullying scene, the first few chapters about Ruby could've been better as a flashback, it would've made a better suspense. And it would've been even better if the messages took place after they got older as in, 23-24. It would've created a pretty good thriller.

Writing Style: 10/20
There are a lot of mistakes in the first chapter itself, one of the biggest mistakes in the whole book is that half of it is written in past tense while the other half is present tense. It cannot be "It was almost midnight. The sky is dark and the stars have hovered over on it." It HAS to be "It was almost midnight. The sky was dark and the stars had hovered over on it." It also has to be either Over it or just on it. You cannot use both.

The writing style is very inconsistent overall, it should be more consistent.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/20
I'll be noting down some of the mistakes
Chapter 1:
you've written "No butts", it should be "No buts". Same paragraph it would be, Joy ends her sentence and not "words". The girl has worn and not "wore". Also a sentence in the same paragraph is wrongly framed, It should be "She had not done all these things for her birthday but for something else" and not "all of these things…"
It is "y'all" and not "yall"

I would also like to mention that the vocabulary used is nowhere near what most high school students speak, but that is a different point. In one of the chapters Irene says, "Shut your ass up" no one says that. It's either Shut up or Shut the f up.

Most conversations and dialogues feel unreal.

I would suggest you find a nice editor to edit it, it needs heavy editing. Otherwise, please just change it to one constant tense and proper grammar. You can use grammarly for that.

Characters & Development: 5/10
There is a lot of lack, Irene's and many other characters don't seem reasonable. And there are too many characters to remember at times.

Also, characters' development isn't really a factor, as we don't know what the characters' personalities are, all we know is that they're all kind of bad.

I would also like to mention the fact that there wasn't a mention of Ruby before, and the story started with her. It was very confusing.

Total: 52.5/100

Final Note: The plot seems to have some potential, but the grammar, writing style and execution together kind of ruins it. If you do need any kind of help, you can contact me. And I would really suggest getting the book edited.