ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜Anchored Roses [Rev. Cey]

Book Name: Anchored Roses

Author:  ClaireMari29

Reviewer: Cey ( ceyshells )

Cover: 4/05

Personally, I love the split down the middle. It feels as though the character has two sides to them, kind of like a mirrored world, and this intrigues the reader. However, the author's name and the quote on the cover are not thoroughly visible and the black box with "A Tekken Fanfiction Story" seems a little out of place.

Title: 4/05

The title is really interesting and unique: it makes me think of a person who has so much to contribute, yet they're tied down by limitations. I hope this interpretation is correct, but it's also alright if I'm wrong, could be a great surprise.

Synopsis: 7/10

The synopsis contains the right amount of info to gain the reader's attention, but not so much that it depleted the interest. There are some grammar and tense issues, but those can be easily corrected.

"belonged" not "belong"
"lead" not "leads"
"spread" not "had spread"
"worse" not "worsen"
"became" not "become"
"begin" not "will begin"
"will it" not "it will"

Execution: 7/10

The story is well paced and includes intricate description, which I as a reader appreciate. However, the chapter lengths are a little too long for my liking. (this is my opinion, you don't have to change it!)

Plot: 14/20

Mauve moves from Canada to Japan with her father. While she's there, she's to stay with her uncle, who'll take care of her while she goes to school in the foreign country. However, there are rival companies, gangs, and many more issues along the way.

Plot wise, the story seems exciting and intriguing, but it's a little slow especially considering the length of each chapter, which I'm guessing is due to the amount of description.

Writing Style: 12/20

Right off the bat, the author's writing style is extremely descriptive. However, excessive description can cause a single sentence to become too long, and that's the case with the first sentence of the prologue. I recommend splitting it into two sentences: one that ends at "intelligent girl", and a second one with the description of her appearance.

Other than that, the tone is very posh and formal, which suits the vibe of the story.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 17/20

Some instances of missing punctuation, tense errors and a couple run on sentences.

Example of run on sentence from prologue:
Just as what happened on her first vacation night, in a luxurious looking casino at the time of 11:45pm, she came to face a man who was known as the most obsessive gambler who loved betting huge amounts of money, showing that he was insane by betting their money all into a game of double poker, yet it all ended up that luck had stuck towards the brunette-haired girl as she pushed her glasses, smirked, and laughed in her true victory.

(this sentence is good in terms of description, but it is extremely long-winded)

Edited:
On her first vacation night, in a luxurious casino at almost midnight, 11:45pm to be precise, she faced off against a man known as the most obsessive gambler. Nothing made him happier than the thrill of betting huge amounts of money, but he made an insane mistake by betting all his money in a game of double poker… against Mauve. Lady luck had shone upon the young brunette girl, who pushed her glasses up, smirking winningly before laughing in his face at her true victory.

Vocabulary wise, the word choices are uncommon yet not difficult to understand, which makes it easier for all audiences to appreciate.

Characters & Development: 5/10

Straight from the beginning, we know of Mauve's personality and of her talents. We also get to know about recent events that occurred. Near the end of the prologue, we start to reach the main plot line, where they head off to Japan.

Based on the first 4 chapters, Mauve's father and uncle don't have much detailing, and other than that, more characters are added but not elaborated upon. There is a lot of description, but not much insight into their feelings and personality other than Mauve. She expresses joy over the food and sorrow over the loss of her mother, but this aspect is lacking in terms of other characters.

Total: 70/100

Additional Notes:
Hi ClaireMari29, thank you so much for applying in my review slots. Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous when you applied as I don't know about Tekken at all. However, your story is extremely intriguing and despite not knowing much on the subject, I found myself enjoying the story very much. Keep up the great work!