The cover graphic is interesting, seeing as it's split into three parts: father, mother and son I believe. The font for the title is good, but the one used in the quote at the bottom is visible only in the lighter section. The author name at the top is also not very visible and will be easily overlooked. The 00s (binary code? I'm not great with tech) over the father's side of the cover seems redundant, it doesn't hold any link to the story, at least from a first glance.
Title: 3/05
The title is unique, and it did make me think I'd want to know what this story is about, though I do find it slightly cliche sounding.
Synopsis: 6/10
Ignoring the awards, ranks and cover credit part of the blurb as I feel those are parts I have no control over. You may leave those in as you like.
About the story description itself, there are minor issues that I'll like to point out: in the second paragraph, just before the "just", there is no need to leave a space before the word. There is a lot of unnecessary capitalisation, such as "Son", "Romance", "Anti-Romantic", "Always Confused", "Emotions" and "Fate".
Apart from the errors, the blurb itself is well written, telling enough about the story to interest the audience without revealing too much.
Execution: 6/10
If I have to be really honest, I cannot understand how the story won so many awards. The plot and idea are great, but the overall writing of the book has a lot to improve in. I can give points to the judge for giving marks in originality and creativity, but the points deducted through the writing shouldn't have left it at a first place mark.
Plot: 16/20
The plot is excellent: sentimental yet exciting, containing romance while including sci-fi etc.
Jungkook lives a life of regret as he believes he caused his wife's death. His bright son, Jungsoo, decides he wants to help his father, and builds a time machine that could allow his father a second chance with his mother.
Time travelling is a known story idea, but it's always a new unique experience when a new author tells it.
Writing Style: 12/20
First thing I want to mention is to keep your writing constant. Don't use both dad and appa, or eomma and mom, grandma and halmeoni.
The writer has a fast paced, punchy style of writing, which makes the story move fast and doesn't allow the reader's attention to falter. However, fast-paced writing can be hard to read if certain details are lacking. It's also difficult to know what you've added or not since the plot moves too quickly.
Based on the first two chapters, there aren't any pov changes, which I appreciate immensely. However, in the later chapters, thr pov changes become more frequent, which isn't so good. The third chapter's starting reminds me of the way a children's tv show describes scene situations, which lacks the slight formal or professional tone most stories tend to have.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/20
A lot of unnecessary capitalisation. Within the first paragraph of the story itself, which I will give as an example, there is such an instance, as well as missing punctuation. In the second paragraph, there is a word order error and a run on sentence.
Example: "Wake Up!" Edited: "Wake up!"
Example: a high pitched voice echoed in the room of the guy who completely ignored it and continued his POWER NAP which annoyed his younger sister. (No capital letter to start the sentence, missing commas, unnecessary caps)
Edited: A high pitch voice echoed in the room of the guy, who completely ignored it and continued his power nap, annoying his younger sister.
I know you want emphasis on "power nap'', but capitalising all the letters is not the way to do so. I'd suggest putting it in bold font, or italics if you just want the reader to take note of those words in particular.
Some punctuation mistakes to take note of: When the sentence is too long, be sure to add a comma. Ellipses only have 3 dots. Add punctuation within quotation marks.
Vocabulary wise, the words used are relatively simple and easy to understand, catering to all readers. There are some slightly more descriptive words used within the story, which paints a better picture of the scene.
Characters & Development: 5/10
A lot of characters are introduced in the second chapter, the relatives of the deceased. Hayoon plays the side character role in my opinion, and she has scenes, but not a lot of parts. Main characters wise, there are only two. Jungkook and Jungsoo.
Jungkook as a father is extremely depressed over his wife's death, as he believes he is guilty for that.
Jungsoo is Jungkook's son, a genius who is kind of an outcast by his family, a little savage, but deeply cares about his father. He even went to the extent of building the time machine to fulfil his dad's regrets.
I find Jungsoo an interesting character, as he somehow seems to have a better affinity to machines than humans, though he definitely cares for his family more.
Total: 61/100
Additional Notes: Hello @SongYeEun2500, thank you for applying in my slots. I hope this review is beneficial in helping you improve your work. Feel free to pm me for clarifications.
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