ꗃ﹕❜ Minerva ❯❯ A review shop [2.0]

×. ❜Twisted Love [Rev. Cia]

• Book Name: Twisted love

• Author:  Poppy_Rusert

• Reviewer: Cia ( hooWoman )

•   Cover: 1.5/05

The cover needs a major improvement. It doesn't get along with the blurb or the title.

•    TITLE: 03/05

I LOVED how you can mention the name of the book. Meaning now you have tried to justify the name of the book in the first chapter. It suits the book.

•     SYNOPSIS: 4.5/10

It's a bit confusing.

The writer has mentioned the male and female protagonists never met before but they were talking, so I presume they were talking through calls or texts but never met in person.

I saw the female protagonist thinking about the guy she was falling for or 'she thinks she isn't falling for', the things she wanted to do to him etc but I saw a sentence where it was mentioned
"MY HAND LANDED ON HIS TONED ABS."

This is confusing, if they haven't met then how are they getting intimate.

At the end of the scene, the female protagonist mentioned it is a dream but it wasn't specified if it was one.  So yeah the first chapter is CONFUSING.

•  EXECUTION: 5.5/10

Firstly when you write a book you are supposed to arrange certain things to make the book look neat and presentable.
Here the author has mixed up everything, the first page has the first chapter, the second page has the author's note and the third one has the aesthetics. It's quite messed up so rearrange it. Authors note, then the aesthetics and then it should be the first chapter.

Secondly, don't change the font when you write dreams, let the reader think it's real and let the suspense build one. For example, in your further chapters when I will read something with a different font I will know it's a dream. So don't destroy the suspense part.

Long chapters, I personally hate them, don't let a chapter cross more than 2k words, it gets boring in between. It's rare when writers keep the reader hooked in the long chapters but unfortunately, it didn't go well with yours.
It's just my personal opinion. You can ignore it if you want.

Lastly, I would suggest that you make the book look presentable or else you are going to lose readers so go back and read your chapter like a reader and publish the further chapters.

•   PLOT-  15/20

I found it interesting. I loved the details which you have put. Most writers don't do that, especially when it comes to these kinds of books. You have balanced the story with good smut and plot.

If I loved your plot, then why did I cut your five marks? Because your story needs a bit of brushing which I hope you do soon.

•      WRITING STYLE - 10/20

Your book has got a really good plot but the way you have presented the book is a bit disappointing.  Your writing style isn't bad but it needs a lot of brushing. I can see the skills in you but it's not showing in this story of yours. I don't know why.

•      GRAMMAR AND VOCAB - 09/20

You need to improve a lot here. The book was an easy read, you didn't use synonyms which are tough to understand or need google to search for meaning but the grammar part was unpleasant.

I will show the grammatical two mistakes I found in the blurb. I'm sorry I can't correct all of them right now. If I correct your grammatical mistakes in all your chapters it will take a lot of time. I won't blame you for this.
I understand that you aren't a native speaker but using apps like Google Docs and Grammarly, helps a lot.

WE KISSED UNTIL WE ARE OUT OF BREATH.

You started this with a past tense then out of nowhere you added 'are' instead of 'were', which is grammatically incorrect.

I COULD NOW FEEL HOW MUCH WANT HIM

Again the same thing. 'WANTED HIM'

Hence you are a bit confused about using the correct tense in a sentence.

•  CHARACTERS & DEVELOPMENT: 03/10

I didn't see much character development in the first 6 chapters and I would love to read the further chapters you upload.

Good luck. This review is to help you improve. so take it positively and work hard.