Zyne's POV
Nakatayo ako sa 'di kalayuan sa kanya, sapat na 'yon para mapagmasdan ko siya. Kanina ko pa siya hinihintay dito dahil alam kong pupunta siya dito.
I can still see on her eyes the sadness and pain the time when her mom died and now. Mas dumoble yung sakit na nararamdaman niya ngayon.
Ito naman ang inaasahan ko. Kapag naalala na niya ang kapatid ko ay ako naman ang makakalimutan niya.
I tried everything to make her feel happy. To make her feel that she is worth it.
Pero kahit gawin ko ang lahat, hindi parin maitatago ang katutuhanang hindi siya sakin.
The time when I saw her in church, I thought she can still remember me, but I was wrong.
Akala ko lahat ng alaala niya ay bumalik na, that's why I tried my best to get more closer to her. Not to get her love or what, but because I want her to have a friend that always make her feel that she is important.
At first, I set aside my feelings for her, 'cause I know that she is belonged to my brother and not mine. But days past, mas lalo akong nahuhulog sa kanya, hanggang sa napagtanto ko na sobrang lalim na pala ng pagkahulog ko at halos hindi ko na kayang umahon.
Habang pinipigilan mo ay mas lalo ka namang nahuhulog.
Para akong sinaksak ng matulis na bagay sa puso nang narinig ko ang lahat ng sinasabi niya kay kuya Khael. He talk to him like a person that alive.
"Sabi mo makikita pa kitang magsusuot ng white caught... You know what? I have a lot of rants right now, you mind if I'll tell you?"
I chuckled when I heard what she said. Yes, she have a lot of rants pero ni isa doon ay wala siyang sinabi sakin. Ako ang nandito pero hindi niya magawang sabihin sakin lahat ng 'yon.
"I miss you...I hate myself 'cause I forgot you. I'm sorry love... I'm really sorry. I'm sorry kung hindi kita nabisita ng halos tatlong taon. I'm sorry for my late come. I came too late... P-please forgive me."
Tila nakonsensya ako dahil hindi ko sinabi sa kanya agad. She's longing for my brother's presence.
Ganito din ba siya iiyak kapag ako ang nawala? Who am I kidding? bakit naman niya ako iiyakan ng gan'yan eh hindi naman niya ako minahal.
Yes, sabihin na nating sinabi niya na mahal niya ako, pero alam ko namang minahal niya lang ako dahil ako ang nandito. If she can remember my brother, do you think mamahalin niya ako?
Her eyes never shine that much everytime that she's with me. Yung mga matang nakikita ko tuwing kasama niya ang kapatid ko noon ay hindi ko makita no'ng panahong kami ang magkasama.
Did my brother more better than me?
I waited her for two years, two damn years! but who am I kidding? I waited her with no assurance. I waited her without knowing if she'll gonna love me this time.
Kapatid ko ang mahal niya simula no'ng una, kapatid ko parin pala ang mamahalin niya hanggang ngayon.
My brother have her in the past, and he still have her in the future.
Andoon ako no'ng panahong inamin nila na mahal nila ang isa't isa, she's loving my brother while I secretly loving her.
Patay na ang kalaban ko pero ako parin ang talo.
Una palang alam kong may gusto na sila sa isa't isa, the way how she stare at him, how she talk to him, there's always sparkle in her eyes that I didn't see when she's with me.
They are the only one who can tamed each other.
He have everything, he have a lot of friends, a lot of talents, siya ang gusto ng lahat, siya ang gusto ng taong mahal ko. Hindi siya mahirap mahalin, while me? I am just nothing.
YOU ARE READING
Spectaculos Disaster
De Todo"In every chaos there's always been an art resulting a beautiful disaster, but what if these chaos has no ending and not resulting a beautiful disaster?" They said heart beat is one of the most important thing in this world, if it stop, then everyth...
