Sunshine || l.h. {complete}

Fourteen

author's note: OKAY SO EVERYTHING HURTS AND EVERYTHING IS AWFUL AND UGH BUT IT'S SO WONDERFUL

ps leave me comments and i will always respond {and love you forever}

pps doesN'T LUKE LOOK SO HOT I'M DEAD and also he's saying "c'mere" like really

happy reading!!

-

2:27 p.m.

Saturday, November 25th, 2014

Belle feels like poop.

She can't stop crying, her mom felt so bad that she even ungrounded her. It didn't help any, though, because Belle didn't want to go anywhere anyways. She wishes she could be with Luke, having him lay with her and touch her hair like he did the weekend before, telling her everything is fine and they're okay. But he's not. He's a few miles away probably moving on with his life in his stupid VW bus, not even thinking about her.

Belle buries her face into her pillow as another sob racks through her, bringing a fresh round of tears to her eyelids. She wipes her face with her palms and tries to calm herself down, forcing her chest to rise and fall at a steady pace. When she glances in the mirror, she sighs heavily, putting her gaze down to her hands that are now rested in her lap.

"You're a real mess, you know?" she tells herself in the mirror, looking back at her reflection. "You don't attach yourself to anyone for two years and now look at you. What's wrong with you?" With every word it brings forth more tears, reveling in her own self-pity to a point where she can't even see anything but a blur in the mirror. "Why can't you just go back to how it was when Aiden died and nobody messed with you or talked to you, huh?!" She wipes furiously at her eyes before pulling her hair up and prying herself out of bed to blow her nose.

"Belle?" her mother calls

"Yeah," she replies lamely, her nasally voice sounding like she shoved a train up it, it's so stuffy.

"I made some soup," her mom continues, "it's on the stove if you want some."

Belle shrugs, even though she knows her mother can't see her. "I-I'm not really hungry," she says in a small voice. She knows by her mom's silence that she probably just nodded in a solemn way. Her mom took a lot of the brute force after Aiden's death, and she knows how Belle can get sad and not be able to do anything at all. Belle feels so useless, she can only imagine how Luke is feeling. He's all alone and hasn't got a mom to make him soup and dry his tears. He has himself and his group of homeless people, most of which can't be trusted anyways.

The thought makes her cry again.

She sighs, wiping her face again, and forces herself into composure. She figures she can at least lighten her conscious by bringing Luke some soup, since she won't be eating it anyways. While she's pouring some soup into a disposable container, she hears her mom's car pull out of the driveway.

It happens frequently, really. Her mother's solution to everything is running away and shutting down, returning when she's better and able to handle the situation. After Aiden's death, her mom ran out a lot. She would drive for hours and come back with reddened cheeks and glittering eyelids, but a smile on her face and she'd go right back to whatever she was doing before she had a breakdown. It was weird, but it was the way she coped, and so Belle didn't say anything.

She closes the lid to the container and thinks about all the other bags of clothing and things that she's dropped at Luke's. He still doesn't know it's her, and she doesn't plan on clueing him in anytime soon. Belle knows she'll continue to give him stuff even when they no longer...