A Decade Of Drumbeat

Prologue

Napakamot-ulo nalang ako nang makita na naman siya, kinakausap ang mga kaibigan namin, sinisiraan na naman ako.

Wala yang silbi sa bahay, nasa kwarto lang palagi, parang hindi nga yan tao. bulong niya na dinig na dinig ko parin.

'Di ko nalang pinansin, hindi na 'yan bago sa'kin. Maybe that will be a part of my life, to accept those hurtful words from my sister. I don't know what did I do to her. Her heart is full of negativity, I'm like a burden to her. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko alam kung bakit galit na galit siya sa'kin.

We were close before, hindi kami mahiwalay sa isa't isa. We were sweet before, we laughed together ,eat together, play together, smile at each other or even one of us is sad, the other one will be affected too.

And as a young girl full of joy and happiness, I'm contented with my life just to be with my sister. Then suddenly, her treatment to me just changed. An innocent girl like me just thought that maybe she's not really in the mood or maybe it's just normal, but as we grow older, her anger for me also grew.

Mga salitang hindi ko inaasahan na manggagaling pa sakanya, mga salitang dahan-dahang pinipiga ang puso ko, those words are from her...from the person I'm contented to be with.

Nung una hindi ko kaya, hindi ko matanggap. Kahit 'di naman masakit na salita, iniiyakan ko. Routine ko na ata dati ang ipikit ang aking mga mata, lumunok, papasok sa kwarto at iiyak. That's my life before and I thought I will always end up being like that.

Araw-araw nawawala ang mood ko dahil sakanya, napapaisip nalang ako...kailan kaya mauubos 'tong luha ko?

There is something I found out about myself...I'm brave without knowing it. At naniniwala akong lahat ng tao ay matapang at minsan nga lang, kailangan natin masaktan upang mapalabas natin ang katapangan na matagal nang nakatago.

I believe that being brave didn't select a person, but it is a personality that we all have. But, it's still up to you if you will choose to be brave or end up pitiful. Narealize kong nakakaawa na pala ako, minamaliit ko na ang sarili ko, and I told myself.

Ganito ka nalang ba lagi?

Sa araw-araw na pananakit ng kapatid ko sa'kin, parang naging bato na ang puso ko in a good way, yung maging manhid sa mga masasakit na sinasabi niya, and I'm proud of myself accepting that maybe it will really be part of my living.

Kaya sa lahat ng taong nakakasalamuha ko, nag-iingat akong 'di ko sila masaktan dahil ayaw kong maranasan nila ang sakit na naranasan ko.

Nagsisimba lang kapag may okasyon para makikain. I stopped walking when I heard that from a very familiar voice. Kunot-noo ko siyang hinarap at ayun, hinihintay lang pala akong lumingon sakanya.

Does he want to annoy me? lahat nalang ba ng tao kinukuha ang kasiyahan ng araw ko?

Excuse me? taas kilay kong tanong sakanya.

He smirked. I bet you know me, Douglas. lahat ng dugo ko dumaloy pataas nang marinig kong tinawag niya ang apelyido ko. Okay, he wanted annoy me huh.

Uhm, yes. I also know your family---‘di ko na ito natuloy nang biglang nag-iba ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. May galit na dumaloy sa mga mata niya na nagpatigil sa aking sasabihin.

Looks like someone's trying to pissed me. I said, changing what I wanted to say. I smiled a little. don't worry, hindi ko ugali ang manakit ng tao kagaya ng intensyon mo. and I walked out.