Random x readers

Spider (Balthazar x Reader)

The bunker was quiet. Sam was reading up on ancient curses and Dean was eating pie in his room listening to AC/DC. You were lounging on the couch lazily reading a book -50 shades of Grey- while thinking about a certain French angel. The silence was ruined by that certain angel calling you on your phone.

"Yello?" You answered still reading.

"Get to my apartment ASAP!" Balthazar demanded in his kitchen.

"I am not participating in a menage a trois so stop asking" You rolled your eyes.

"Not for that. I need your assistance so get over here now! It's an emergency!" Balthazar replied glancing towards his living room. 

"It'll take a few hours to get there" You pointed out thinking about driving.

"Just.....Hurry. And bring a flamethrower and several guns" Balthazar ordered slowly walking into his living room only to let out a high pitched shriek.

"Balthazar? Whats wrong?" You asked sitting up.

"HELL IS IN MY LIVING ROOM!" Balthazar yelled diving back into the kitchen. You hung up and left the bunker before praying for Castiel who appeared and teleported you to outside Balthazar's apartment. Without knocking you walked in and heard pans and knifes dropping in the kitchen.

"Balthazar?" You called.

"(Y/n)! Thank god! Did you bring the flamethrower?!" Balthazar replied frantically.

"No I did not bring a flamethrower now whats wrong I was reading" You rolled your eyes.

"50 shades of grey is not reading it's porn in the form of a novel" Balthazar said as you walked into the kitchen. You saw him gripping a knife in his hand and cautiously eyed him.

"Whats the emergency?" You asked. He stood behind you and put his hand on your shoulder before pushing you into the living room. You let him push you until you saw the most unusual thing on his floor. A big black spider was sitting on top of a Titanic DVD beside an angel blade.

"Umm what the hell?" You said pointing at it.

"Hell. Kill it. It has Celine Dion and a terrible movie!" Balthazar hissed.

"You're not even the least bit concerned there's an angel blade right there?" You face-palmed.

"Titanic is worse. I don't know how that blasted movie got into my apartment but I want it and the hell spawn gone!" Balthazar shook his head.

"Balthazar you are an angel! Grow some wings and man up" You replied. 

"(Y/n) my worst fear is here now make it go away before I start smiting!" Balthazar said pushing you towards the spider. You rolled your eyes and went over to the spider before bending down to pick it up. Once you got it on your hand you went back over to Balthazar who backed away and held the knife up.

"I will stab you if you bring that thing near me" He warned as his back hit the wall. 

"Aww it's so cute though just look at it" You cooed holding it closer to him. 

"(Y/n)! Burn it! Kill it with fire and throw the ashes off a cliff!" Balthazar exclaimed not looking at the creature. You rolled your eyes at him again and brought the spider to the window where you let it outside before you turned to face him again.

"Better?" You asked putting your hands on your hips.

"No" He replied pointing to the Titanic DVD.

"Uggh it's a DVD pick it up yourself! It's hardly going to kill you!" You groaned.

"Your my girlfriend you do it" Balthazar shook his head. 

"Stubborn" You muttered before going over to the DVD and tossing it out the window to join the spider.

"There! God you are so infuriating sometimes" You said flopping down onto the couch while he picked up the angel blade.

"Yet you love me" Balthazar replied kissing the top of your head.

"You're lucky I do or I'dve locked you in a room with 'My heart will go on' on repeat for all eternity" You nodded. Balthazar scoffed and put the angel blade on the dresser only to go into the kitchen and shriek when he saw another copy of the Titanic on the counter.

"WHAT CRUEL BEING WOULD DO THIS?!"

~~Meanwhile~~

Chuck sniggered to himself as he snapped another copy of Titanic into Balthazar's apartment enjoying messing with his son.

"Have you no shame?" Death asked from beside him.

"Nope" Chuck replied while you gave up and left the apartment with Balthazar almost attached to your side.

Author:http://dixonvixon.deviantart.com/art/Spider-BalthazarXReader-499874840