Chapter 9: My Truth...

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(Lily's Pov)

I fluttered my eyes open to the sun shining through my bedroom window. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and looked around to see I was in my bedroom. I yawned tiredly and remembered I must've been so drained from yesterday that I fell asleep on Mick and he must've carried me to my room which was sweet of him.

I thought for a moment and sighed, I don't know how much longer I can keep this a secret from my siblings...Plus, I still don't know what me and Mick are I mean are we dating? He didn't even ask me to be his girlfriend so what does that mean? I don't know how to do this? I've been alone and abused over half my life...I was never taught any of this...I was never taught how to love someone, how to love myself, how to deal with people and relationships...stuff I should've taught by my parents.

Parents who are supposed to love and protect me...but they didn't...no one did. My mother died birthing me, my father abused me for my half my life because of it and my siblings went on to be criminals because of him...No body taught me a goddamn thing...maybe aside my friends but still...I don't know how to do any of this...

I sighed and shook my head as I rubbed my eyes tiredly and hopped out of bed stretching a bit. I took a deep breath before heading out of my room and down to the kitchen seeing the others just talking or tinkering with their fancy guns. I sighed a bit as I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured myself a cup of coffee "Morning sleepyhead, sleep well?" Lisa asked, I just nodded as I headed back up to my room because I wanted some alone time to think, and of course I was thinking about Mick and what we were...I mean are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Friends? Friends with benefits? People that like each other but have no labels? I don't even know anymore...I don't know anything anymore...

I sighed and rubbed my pounding head and sipped my coffee. There was a knock on my door which snapped me from my train of thoughts, "Come in" I said as I looked up to see it was Mick, I smiled softly "Hi" I said, he didn't say anything but come in my room, shut the door behind him and sat next to me on my bed.

I could sense he was concerned about me and why I'm staying in my bedroom "What are we?" I asked, he looked confused, "What?" He asked, I sighed "What are we?" I asked again but he still looked confused which made me frown a bit "What do you mean?" He asked with confusion,

I sighed with frustration...he can be really dullheaded sometimes...but maybe then again he's never done anything like this either because well, he is a criminal and when do criminals get the time to date people? People that'll trust him and not use him or turn him in and treat him like some animal...

So I guess I can't be too upset at him with not knowing cause I guess we're both new to this...hmm "Like with us. What are we? I mean are we dating? Are we friends that like each other? Are we friends with benefits, are we not putting labels on it. I mean I'm fine with whatever you want I'm just confused on the whole us thing and not wanting to get killed by my siblings so I-" I rambled but got cut off by Mick kissing me roughly.

I gasped but soon relaxed and kissed back. I smile softly in the kiss as it was so sweet but kinda rough...then again, I kinda liked it. Mick pulled away leaving me breathless "Shut up Icy" he said which made me blush and nod as it went quiet for a moment...I couldn't stop thinking about him and my life and the future...

I never really expected to get this far life and now that I'm here now...it changes everything...most of it is scary and I still have so much trauma that's haunting me that maybe I should tell Mick the truth on my life, my perspective of things, my truth about my past and what happened to me...I mean Mick told me what happened to him, it's only fair right? And if I'm going to be spending my life with him...well if he feels the same way then he should know the truth right?

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