Loving Her

Chapter Twenty Four. Lagos

I couldn't sleep, even the littlest things like the sound of my room air conditioning working or the sound of my fan blades whirling had me jolting. The sound of his voice made it worse, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

He had taken the one thing I held so dearly, my virginity and he took it forcefully, not caring how I felt. The next morning I couldn't go to school so I stayed indoors. Ayanda had brought me breakfast and when she asked what was wrong I told her I was feeling a little sick. After touching my forehead and seeing that I wasn't boiling hot, she decided to leave me be for the rest of the day.

When she brought lunch, my breakfast still sat on my reading table, untouched and now cold. She took the breakfast tray with her, leaving the lunch tray in its place. The time for dinner rolled in and I made myself comfortable on the floor instead of my bed, my body hated the feeling of my bed sheet against my skin. I was irritated, both on the inside and outside. I also felt like ripping my private part out of my body, I hated myself.

Ayanda walked into my room for the third time today and this time she didn't drop my dinner tray on the table, instead she sat on the floor with me and forced me to finish my food. I willed my nausea away not wanting to throw up while she was still in the room with me.

When she was done force-feeding me, she dropped the empty plate on the tray and straightened her legs on the floor. "What happened?"

I couldn't speak despite my need to tell her what happened, I needed to tell someone but the thought of Seyi killing that person made me rethink my choice and I also didn't want to relive that moment.

I didn't respond, only pulling my legs closer to my chest and resting my chin on top of my knees. Ayanda gently stroked my hair and five minutes after she sighed and got up from the floor, dusting the back of her black skirt. "I have to go now, I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

I gave her no response still and with another sigh she walked out of the room with two trays in her hands one holding empty plates and the other held plates filled with food.

Hearing the soft click of my door closing shut, I got up from the floor in a rush and ran into the bathroom, sending the contents in my stomach out and into the toilet. I waited a few moments to be sure I wasn't throwing up again before getting up and flushing the toilet.

I didn't bother to strip off the clothes I was wearing since last night as I turned on the shower and got under it. The cold water pelting down on my skin had me gasping, it was freezing mainly because it rained all day.

I adjusted the temperature and when warm water began to flow I took off my clothes and washed my body, taking my time to scrub every inch of my body. I knew it wasn't going to wash off what had happened but I needed to at least try.

When I was satisfied I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my chest before walking out of the bathroom. I quickly changed into a new pair of sweats. I looked outside my window and my shoulders sagged in relief when I didn't see his car parked in the compound.

I stripped my bed of the bed sheets and duvet and picked my wet clothes from the bathroom floor, dragging everything downstairs.

When in the laundry room, I threw the wet clothes and my beddings into the washing machine. I picked new beddings and hurried upstairs when I heard the honk of Seyi's car.

Back in the security of my room, I locked the door even though I knew it wasn't going to do much if he wanted to have his way but locking it made me feel somewhat save. I laid the new bed sheet on my bed and when I got into it, I sighed, happy for the fresh feeling it gave me.

I stilled when I heard Seyi's whistle as he walked past my room and to his room. When he closed his door shut, I finally released my breath and turned to my side.

After five minutes of staring at the wall my stomach grumbled and I remembered that I had thrown up my dinner earlier. Happy that I had a fridge in my room that was always stocked with snacks, I got up and made my way to it. I took out a handful of snacks; gala, chin-chin and a bar of sneakers with a bottle of coke.

Luckily the snacks didn't make me want to throw up. I looked at the digital clock on my bedside table and gasped when I saw the time, it was almost 10 pm.

With a heavy sigh I got up from the bed, clearing the mess I had made on the floor before getting into bed again.

From across the hall I heard his laugh and I jumped in fright. I needed something to distract me. I got up from the bed once again and made my way to my vanity. Opening the top drawer, I pulled out the small jewelry box. I opened it slowly and a small smile made its way on my face when I saw the gold locket still seated there. I pulled it out of the box and slipped it on.

I sat back on the bed, this time cross legged. I studied the locket again, it was a simple round locket with no intricate designs on it because it's real content were on the inside. I opened it, my smile getting wider when my eyes landed on the picture inside. It was a picture of Uncle Jaxon and I, I can't remember when we took it but we both looked happy, both of us had grins on our faces as we looked at the camera that took the picture. On the other side held words that meant the world to me: "You're stronger than you think."

This was in the bag that Uncle Jaxon had given me the day of mum and Seyi's wedding, this and some other things.

"You're stronger than you think." I read the words out loud, telling them to myself in hopes that I would believe them.

I gently laid back on the bed with those words replaying in my head. I didn't think of anything but them as my mind slowly drifted off to sleep.