It's not the same anymore (Duskwood Fanfiction)

Chapter Five

  I never thought that Jessy's home would be this close to the police station. We only needed fifteen minutes by foot to be in front of her apartment. The door had been washed and no sign of the raven could be seen anymore. Not that i care anymore at this point.

"Well, welcome to my home !"

I knew this was fake happiness. I used it myself, more often then not. But i couldn't blame her. I was probably going to be the same for some time. A long time maybe.

"Thank you for letting me stay. I'll look into something else tomorrow. I don't want to burdened you too much." I said while taking my shoes off like she had done.

"No, you're not burdening me. Your my friend, it's normal that i would help you too, after all you did for us." She smiled at me before leaving the room, going to her kitchen, probably, by the look of it.

The apartment was bigger than i expected. The entrance was leading into a bigger room that had to be the living room as there were a TV and couch. The kitchen was in a room next to that, where i could hear Jessy turning on the water. There was a staircase in a corner of the living room, leading to the bedrooms and bathroom, i'm guessing.

"Here."

I jumped, not having heard her come back. She was carrying two mugs. And at the scent, it was tea. I thanked her and followed her when she walked to the couch. She sat down sideways, her legs bent under her. I simply sat down next to her, eyes focusing on the light moves that the tea was making as i turned the mug in small circles as to not spill any.

"What do you think will happen now ?" Jessy asked. I turned to look at her, only to see her gaze on the turned off TV. Her eyes weren't as bright as before, if i could say that to begin with.

"I..." I knew what would happen. But it was harder to talk about it than i imagined. "They will probably wait for the fire to be completely safe before doing any research. I don't know if Hannah knew that it was R-Richy who had kidnapped her, but she knew that he was with her at some point. She will probably have said that there was someone else with her."

I looked at Jessy, who was clearly trying her best to not let what i was saying, touch her more than it already did.

"Obviously she will have to talk about all that happened those past weeks, so i can't say what she will be testifying. I will be interrogated too, as you will all have to too, i suppose." I stopped to put the mug that was now half empty, on the small table in front of us. "If they found something in the ashes of the mine, they will investigate on what or who it was, if no one tells them first. And then... Everything will go public."

If it already hasn't. The whole town probably knew that Hannah had been found already. It wouldn't be the first time that something like that happened after a case of kidnapping.

"What... What about Jake ?"

I swallowed the nonexistent ball i had in my throat before answering her. "If... If he was still in the mine, they will probably find him... before. He was trying to get away, whereas Richy had g-gave up in the bottom of the mine. But then... If everything burnt, everything would be nearly at the same level. They would just announce that they found two bodies, instead of one."

I couldn't continue after that. When i brought my hand to my face, i tried to make it like i was scratching myself instead of trying to wipe my tears that were forming.

"I see..."

We were both silent after that. None of us knew what to do. Until now, we were all investigating. We were following so much leads, doing so much to find Hannah so that we wouldn't loose her. But now that she was here and safe, we had lost two friends. More than two friends.

It was never made sure but, Richy loved Jessy. And i'm sure that she loved him probably just as much. But they never had time to be.

We never had time to be.

Suddenly, i found myself suppressing a sob. I couldn't do it. I couldn't live without him. Not like that, never like this.

"Judith..."

I wasn't looking at her, but i knew that hearing me cry again, would brought her tears back too.
I brought my legs to my chest, circling my knees with my arms and pressing my face between them.

"He... He told me he loved me ! T-that's the last thing he told to me !"

"Oh, Judith..."

She moved next to me, bringing me between her arms. I missed him so much even though i never even saw him. After all this time, he was in Duskwood, or near it. We were separate by only four hours. Four hours between us and we would have been able to meet.

"I love him so much, i can't do it !" I sobbed again.

Because that was true. I knew from my past that i wouldn't be able to move on. I never was a really happy child, nor a teenager. And just when i thought i could find a bit of happiness in all of this darkness, it was ripped away from me.

"I should have gotten there before today. I should have put a stop to all of that so much before. I'm sorry Jessy. I'm so sorry. We lost them." I pulled back to push her own face into the crook of my neck.

I felt her tears slide on the skin of my body as i let my mind mourn for what we had lost. We gained and lost so much in such a short time. And i was beginning to start thinking, what would have happened if i was never brought into this case ? What if Hannah's phone had never send my number ? Would Richy still be alive ? And Jake ?

"We should sleep Jessy. We're both exhausted."

She nodded before pulling back. She brushed her tears and smiled with a sad face. Without caring for the mugs, she stood up and pulled me up with her.

Like i had thought, the stairs lead to two bedrooms and a third room, that was probably the bathroom like i said.

"You can use my spare bedroom, i'll lend you some cloth to sleep if you want ?" Jessy asked while opening a door to let me in.

"Sure, thank you. I'll probably go back home later so i can bring clothes and stuff. I'll rent a chamber at the motel."

"I told you, you can stay here. Even if it takes you a month. I don't mind. Plus, i could use the company." She smiled.

I probably could use the company too. I guess. "If you're sure then." I smiled too, the best i could.

"Go get sited, i'll be back."

I nodded my head and got into the bedroom. The room was simple enough. A bed, bedside table, a TV and a closet. Nothing much more. I took a spot on the bed, while i detached my hair. I had tighten the rubber band too much and now my scalp was hurting.

"Here you go. Where the same height so it should fit you."

"Thank you."

"Well... I'll let you sleep then. Goodnight Judith."

"Thank you, goodnight Jessy."

She bit her lip before hugging me one last time. I returned the hug and smiled to reassure her, even if i was feeling miserable. She then left, closing the door behind her.

I sighed, picking up the pajama that Jessy had left me. A simple t-shirt and a sweatpants. Comfortable enough. I removed my clothes, folding them and letting them on the small table next to me. Putting on the other clothes, i sat back down on the bed.

I felt so empty that i couldn't even begin to explain what i was feeling. I knew it wasn't reasonable, being attached to someone so much. But i loved Jake so much, with my whole heart. And thinking that... that he could be dead. It broke my heart.

And if i knew that Jessy was crying in the room next to me, i didn't do anything about it. I wasn't much better after all. The tears were rolling on my cheeks once again as i tried to not make any noise.

It felt like i would never be happy again.