Josie's pov
Hope, Lizzie and I came back yesterday from the cult as Hope called it and the first thing I wanted to do was talk to Finch because before I left with Hope
I told Finch about the Merge and she said that she needs time to think about it, so I told her that we can talk about it when I come back with Hope
So that basically brings me to now because I'm currently waiting for Finch to show up so that I can see if she's okay with the whole thing. Honestly I'm scared because I don't know what will I do if she says that she's not okay with it
I do like her, but if she isn't okay with the possibility that I might die when I'm 22 then I know that we can't have a future together. I know that I couldn't be with the person that can't accept all of me and be there for me when that day comes
Honestly it will break my heart if she can't accept it, but not because I'm in love with her or something, we only just started dating and it's way too soon
I mean if we were talking about Hope then telling her I love her would feel natural because I was in love with her, but I never told her that. She knows I had a crush on her, but she doesn't know that it was much more than just a crush
But I don't feel that way about Hope anymore because I moved on and I know she never felt the same way about me. She certainly doesn't feel that way now because she will always love Landon
Personally I think he isn't right for her because he keeps leaving her and I know about her abandonment issues, but if she's happy than I'm happy because she deserves it after everything she's been through
I mean they aren't together right now because he left her again and that was the whole reason I went with her to that witch retreat because I thought it could help her the same way I thought it was helping Lizzie
That was before we got there and we realized that it was more than a cult than something to help the witches control, but I know that Hope will forgive him like she did every time he left her
I wish she would see that she deserves better and someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated, but again, if she's happy then that's all that matters to me
But anyway the reason it will break my heart if Finch says that she can't handle me possibly dieing in a couple of years is because she will be yet another person that left me because of something that is out my control
I mean first it was Penelope and I broke up with her because she cheated on me, but the bigger reason is because she didn't understand my relationship with Lizzie. And she said that's the reason why she cheated and I just couldn't handle it anymore
I know Lizzie can act like a total bitch towards me and like she doesn't care about me, but a lot of people seem to forget that she has a mental illness and that isn't a joke
Lizzie also got a lot better after we became friends with Hope, Hope and I help her when she has a panic attack and when Lizzie starts yelling at me for something
Hope puts her in her place, but not by hurting her or telling her she's a bad sister towards me like Penelope did, but by being patient and understanding
That's one of the things I love about Hope and I feel so grateful that the three of us finally have a good friendship after years of just tolerating each other
After Penelope, it came Landon, but the only reason I was with him is because in some messed up way it made me feel closer to Hope while she was in Malivore
Landon and I were both trying to fill the void in our hearts after Hope jumped into Malivore, but after she came back even before I knew who she was. I just had this feeling that I don't belong with him
