Hathor [18+]

The landscape

Hathor Bloom

"Excited to get some sleep before getting on another plane?" I asked Nikolai as I sat on the kitchen island, watching him make some burgers for us.

He shook his head, focused on the cooking "Very fucking happy. So, do you want to talk about what will happen at the airport?" Nikolai glanced at me over his shoulder.

"Mhh," I hummed "well, I know about the lines and TSA but what's got me worried the most is having someone in the cockpit that's not Captain Cardona — I've never flown with anyone else in control."

Nikolai turned around and leaned on the island with a soft smile "Well, I could tell you there will certainly be more people than you're used to and sometimes those people decide to be annoying on the plane: they could kick your seat, take their shoes off or other things. But we also have the advantage of those first-class tickets and a layover in Germany to rest," he chuckled. "We'll have fun and eat a lot, don't worry."

The information he spilled made me nervous; I've never been in that environment but I'm still excited to do something different, especially if it's with my best friend "With that layover we can only sleep or stay up all night."

The man took a sip of my spicy margarita "I think we should definitely sleep so we can be ready for Tuscany."

I nodded and suddenly was reminded, by myself, of what he left at home "Are you sure your family doesn't mind you're back here with me? I mean—"

"Hathor, please don't worry about it and let's enjoy the trip," he told in a serious tone.

"It just worries me what this job could do to your personal life — it's demanding," I glanced down at my rings.

"Sweetheart," he said and I immediately looked at him with a blush "I'm a big boy who chose this job for my personal and professional growth; there's no need to worry about me and whoever doesn't understand the benefits this job will bring maybe shouldn't be in it." Nikolai grinned "But the most important thing I've gained is your friendship —you're as special as Robert said and more," he winked.

My face grew even hotter "You're special too, Nik and I don't think I've ever been happier. So, can I talk to you about something?"

"Absolutely," he nodded "you can tell me anything."

I cleared my throat and took a sip of my margarita before speaking "I apologized to Scarlett yesterday with a voicemail, and then I had sex with her ex and with her dad, not at the same time though," I blurted as quickly as possible, but it didn't make me feel better. Why did I tell him? He will think the worst of me.

Nikolai frowned "I know they were here; the guys in the security booth were letting me know who was coming in and out, but why did you do that, Hathor? Was it because you were feeling lonely?"

I nodded, looking away ashamed; I feel like I've disappointed Nikolai in a way because I opened up and told him how ashamed I was of what I did, and now I've done it again.

"With my aunt leaving and my dad being...well, his usual self, it was easy for me to say yes to them both...but I felt so empty when I was in bed with them. All I kept thinking about was how I wished I could be different," my eyes filled with tears but I quickly rubbed them away; I am conscious I do not deserve any sympathy or pity. "But I was so desperate to feel some sort of physical closeness, I crossed a line I promised not to cross, again."

"It's okay, sweetheart," he straightened up to gently hug me. "It takes time but as long as you're willing to change, you can always do it and I will be here to help you in any way you might need," his hands rubbed my back and it felt so nice and warm and fuzzy...it's all I've always imagined for Christmas.