Hathor [18+]

Daydream

Hathor Bloom

"Hey," his voice interrupted the long silence I had been sitting on; Nikolai and Svetlana were in the guest house for almost two hours.

"Hey," I closed my journal and showed him a gentle smile "how are things?"

Nikolai cleared his throat as he closed the door behind himself "She's decided, for the both of us, that we are to go on the vineyard tour," he sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he approached my bed "I know we were supposed to go together and this trip has taken a sudden turn. However, if you want Svetlana and me to leave, we will—"

"No," I shook my head, sitting on my heels at the edge of the bed to look up at him. "I want you here — here you have everything you need and Svetlana will too. You need to mend your relationship with her," I glanced down at my hands "you've told me many times that she's the love of your life, and that's an opportunity you can't afford to miss."

"After what's happened, I doubt she is the love of my life," he scoffed.

I frowned "What happened?"

Nikolai took a seat beside me "I just feel like she changed so much in such a short period of time," he took a deep breath. "She's not the same woman I told you about weeks ago. I mean, people change and that's all right, but this version of her is not something I'm fond of. That's not the Svetlana I fell in love with."

"And what is it that you fell in love with?" I carefully asked, reaching for his hands.

"Kindness and understanding," he replied with a gentle smile. "We used to have the best talks every night, but it all gradually went away since we both grew busier." Nikolai looked down at our hands "I do the best I can to maintain communication with her, but most of the time it seems impossible — I'm not damning her for being focused on the things she's passionate about, but I don't feel like I'm one of those things anymore; her wanting to keep me at certain distance has made me feel this way."

My frown deepened "I would do anything to change how you're feeling — I wish you were deliriously in love, without a shadow of a doubt and an aching need to always have her at your side."

Nikolai looked at me with tears in his eyes "I do feel that way for—"

"Baby!" Svetlana shouted "We need to leave now!"

My best friend quickly stood up "We'll be back in a couple of hours," he wiped his tears away "and I called in some favors; one of my friends will guard you whilst I'm away. He's already stationed outside and will not bother you."

"You didn't have to, Nikolai," I said with a gentle smile. "I could've locked myself in the panic room until you came back."

He softly chuckled before leaning down to peck my forehead "I wouldn't dream of leaving you unprotected."

My right hand gently rubbed his arm "Thank you. I really like doing that, you have such strong arms," I giggled and he chuckled.

Nikolai grinned "You always make me smile," the man pecked my forehead once again. "Do not worry about dinner, I'll be back by then and will cook something."

"I'll be fine," I playfully pushed him away, letting my fingers slip against the toned landscape of his right arm. "You go get drunk with your girlfriend and find each other again, will you?"

His smile softened "I'll try my best, sweetheart."

After they exited the house, I watched the SUV leave the premises through my window. All the pieces I brought for this trip were meant to impress Nikolai. With every outfit I meant for him to think of how beautiful I looked. It's stupid, but I wish to be in his mind.