A Lovely Life

Chapter 13: Enough About Me

The people we surround ourselves with say a lot about who we are. But can our friendships really tell who we are if we don't even know who we are at all? I mean sure we talk, and hang out with our friends because they, in a way, are similar to who we are as a person, but what if you are like me, and don't have a solidified personality? What if you just adapt, and take on the personalities of the people you talk to the most? What then? Or better yet, who are we?

High school is supposed to be a place where you question who you are, and build yourself in any way you want, but if you can't be your true self out of fear of rejection, how can you start to be yourself? How are we supposed to figure out who we are?

Some people are fortunate enough to have a nice life; to have everything figured out, people like Kyle, Adam, and Henry. But some of us struggle through life due to what has been given to us, and for most is a cycle we cannot escape.

I live in a trailer park, where just about everyone smokes pot, uses drugs, or gets drunk. A lot of my friends from the bus probably do too because of their parents. Jaylen, Trevor, Ashley, Rachel, Xander, and Jackson probably do regularly, and why should I care about how they choose to cope with this fucked up thing we like to call life? I mean compare to me trying to kill myself, using any substance is not that bad.

My group friend is divided in two, the bus friends, and the school friends. This is a list of their description of both physical, and a bit of their personalities.

Kyle is about 5'4 which is about my height, brownish hair, green eyes, lean, but muscular. He is really outgoing, and loves to talk about anything to anyone. He can be a bit harsh with his words when he gets mad, but deep down he means well. Although he is usually happy, and chill I know that he isn't afraid to say what he thinks, and put anyone in their place. He is part of the same church Adam goes to, and they both also go to a fencing club, which they love to talk about just as much as they love to talk about church. I met Kyle the first week of school when I first moved here back in seventh grade, and since then I considered him my best friend, which was a biased opinion since I had a crush on him since the day we met. That had been the reason I stayed friends with him, simply because I found him attractive.

Adam is far taller than both Kyle, and I. He's about 5'9 blonde, green eyes, skinny, yet his body is toned, and in shape. Although he has a cute face he has an acne problem. He's a nice guy, but does have an issue with his high moral compass. He's what I'd consider a church freak, but not necessarily in a bad way. He goes to church as much as possible, and even when there is no service he hangs out with his youth group. The only cuss word I had ever heard him say was hell. He's also really optimistic, and outgoing in a reserved kind of way. I met him in eight grade, and we stayed friends because I found out he was friends with Kyle the first day of ninth grade.

Henry is a bit in between both of them. He is about 5'6 short brown hair, brown eyes. He's not skinny, but not fat either. He's the kind of friend I would go to for just about anything, because I knew that he would listen to me regardless of how stupid I sound. He's reserved, and very attentive, but is able to lead and take charge without a doubt. He is usually really happy, and optimistic, and likes to make sure everyone else is doing okay. I considered him a close friend until late junior year, when life changed for me. Back when I first met him he was a bit of an asshole, but for some reason he and I stayed friends throughout middle school, and high school, and thank god we did because I could not imagine high school without the person who became my true best friend.

Jackson is by far the second tallest of the group; he's about 5'11, or 6'. Has long blond hair, but is cut short at the end of the school year. He has crystal blue eyes, and is skinny. He's not afraid to say what he thinks, nor fight people if necessary. He follows his instincts, and can come off as a complete asshole most of the time. Yet he would help a friend in need in a heartbeat. I met him at the beginning of sophomore year because he was friends with Jayden, and Trevor. Since day one I knew he wasn't a nice person per say, but I became friends with him because was an asshole, and wasn't afraid to fight people. Most of my Freshman year I was bullied, and I was sick of that. Meeting someone who would fight anyone just for fun like Jackson did, gave me the idea of keeping him around to help me if I needed someone to defend me. Manipulation at its finest, but then I developed a crush on him.