A Lovely Life

Chapter 22: Unhealed Wound

During the weekend I went to work. Sunday night I was cleaning tables, and around the time we were getting ready to close I saw this guy looking at me. I had gone to pick up his plates a couple of times, but I didn't get a chance to look at him, and when I did I noticed he was cute. He was sitting with his friends, and the next time I went to get the plates he smiled at me. It gave me butterflies in my stomach. A couple of minutes later, while I was putting up some clean dishes for people to take, I overheard his friends talking to him.

"Black shirts usually make people look slim, but I guess his shirt shrank." I wasn't facing them, but I knew they were talking about me. I've always been made fun of for being fat ever since I was a kid. Since it hadn't happened in a while I thought I was through with it, but I was not. I guess I was always going be the chubby foreign kid.

I didn't know what I thought would happen by thinking that guy was cute. I mean who would ever look at me in any other way than to make fun of me. At this point I was beginning to think I was never going to experience love. I just wished I had someone to be with, I needed someone who would make me feel better, but what 17 year old didn't. Maybe at some point in life I was going to find someone like Henry found Kevin.

The next morning at school I didn't go hang out with the group. I wasn't feeling sociable so I went to get my stuff from my locker.

"Why didn't you come hang out with us?" Henry said, following me to my locker.

"I just....I was....just had a rough night." I said.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah. Just personal issues."

"Personal issues? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Thanks. I'll be good."

"Ok, hey do I still have pencils in my bag?"

"Yeah, new semester, newly refilled bag."

"Oh thank god. You're a lifesaver."

"I do what I can." I gave him a pencil, and when he got it he smiled. Every time I was with him it was like everything else in the universe faded away, and when he smiled everything wrong disappeared, and somehow brightened my day.

At lunch I saw Jackson, and Trevor hanging out. Jackson and Adam had a class some time in the past, and Adam invited them to sit with us. They talked for a bit, but they were too different to stay together for a long time. They left after a couple of minutes of being there. And then in the bus Jackson brought it up.

"How can you talk to people like that?"

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I love Adam and all, but there is a limit as to how much time I would spend with them. They don't seem to be people you would hang out with." He said.

"Yeah I know, but they also think you guys are people I shouldn't hang out with."

"Damn those assholes. Then who should you hang out with?"

"I don't know yet. I guess I'm not meant to have friends." I told him.

"Shut the fuck up. We are friends no matter what those dick heads say. You fit in more with us than you do with them."

"I'm aware."

Friday during 6th hour the next day I ran into Gil in the library.

"Hey man, you finish the French assignment?"

"Not yet. The past tense is hard so I was just going to google the answers." I told him.

"Nah man I got you. Let's do it."