A Lovely Life

Chapter 17: That Sinking Feeling

Monday morning came. I felt like I knew what I needed to get done, and most importantly what I no longer need to do with my life. Over the weekend I signed up for the December ACT since my scores from the last one were not good. I got an 18, and since I wanted to go to college now I needed to increase my scores. I was determined to do things right.

That morning Josie was texting me about the Creative Writing Club.

So you are going to be there this time? She said.

Yeah, I'm not planning on going to Drama Club this week.

Ok, good. I need to talk to you about Matt, and Gil.

Alright. I can't wait.

What are you doing right now?

Just waiting on the bus

Oh, lol that's gotta be fun. We'll talk at writing.

Ok. I said, and then the bus arrived.

When I got on there was an empty seat next to Xander who was sitting with Jayden, so I sat there, and then Aiden walked in looking really cute in his gray hoodie. Everyone has a color that makes them look better, and Aiden's was gray.

"Can I sit here?" Aiden asked. We hadn't had much interaction outside the many scenarios in my head.

"Yeah." I said.

The bus driver hated winter, so he had the heater full blast, and asked us not to roll the windows down, so I was dying in there. I rolled my sleeves just a little, but then I remembered my cut was still red on my arm, and I rolled them both down before anyone noticed.

"You okay?" Aiden asked. Fuck I guess he saw me.

"Hmmm? oh, yeah. I'm great." I said.

"Let me see your arm."

"Why?"

"Because Max did that too, and told me to keep an eye on you." He said. I was really nervous, but I rolled my left sleeve up. When he saw my arm I could see he was disappointed. His shoulders dropped, and his face got sad. "Why did you do that?"

"I don't know, I was sad, and overwhelmed. This is what I do when I feel that."

"What did he do?" Jayden asked.

"His arm." Aiden said. Jayden didn't need more information. He knew exactly what I had done. He moved closer, and I knew why. He was going to smack my head, and tell me that I needed to stop doing that shit. We had done this many times before. But before Jayden could reach me Aiden blocked him, and told him. "Don't hurt him."

"No more cutting." Jayden said. I was shocked by what Aiden had done. It was like he was my knight in shining armor protecting me. Was I in love, or just impressed by Aiden's chivalrous actions?

The next day in Creative Writing I shared the first act of a play I had written. It was about a troubled guy who goes on a murdered rampage. It was strongly inspired by The Bad Seed by William Max. Ms. France said it was good, and Josie said she liked it. That wasn't the criticism I wanted. I wanted them to tell me where it was bad, and how I could fix it.

Once the meeting was over, Josie, and I sat on the bench waiting for my stepdad to pick me up.

"So do you think Gil likes me?" she asked.

"Based on what you've told me. There is a chance he does."

"Oh, god do you think it's all in my head?"

"No, I mean he is flirting with you, but he is a guy, and might be talking to other girls. From what I know of him, he probably is."

"Does he talk about other girls to you?"