'Savage love. Did somebody, did somebody break your heart. Looking like an angel but you're savage love' - Savage Love, Jason Derulo
~
Her home race has always been an event that held a special place in Fionas heart.
She never missed it when she was younger and always watched it with her friends from Ben's balcony.
From there they had the best view, overlooking the harbor. Back then, it was the greatest thing ever.
She still cherished those memories dearly. At least she did with most of them.
Some she had desperately tried to get rid of for the past couple of years. The ones of the day her ability to trust got scarred so deeply. The ones that made it hard for her to let new people into her life and the ones that helped her in her decision of whether she should go to university nearby in France or all the way over in England.
Even though her group of friends from school - which included Elle, Celeste, Charles and Ben - had started to grow apart more and more throughout the past couple of years, the five of them always made time to meet up on race day.
Looking back at it, it was probably the only thing holding them together, other than her and Ben's relationship that was.
Ben and her got together the year before. After all those years of having hopeless feelings for Charles, Fiona had finally realized that he wasn't going to return them. So she decided it was time to move on.
Ben had asked her out once before and for her he was the natural option. They already knew each other very well and Fiona felt safe and comfortable with him.
Looking back on it now, she was certain that she loved him. However, she wasn't in love with him at all. Ben never was able to get those butterflies in her stomach to throw a party whenever she was with him. Unlike Charles who only had to be in her presence to make her knees go weak.
Regardless of that, of her not being in love with him, it didn't mean what happened back then hadn't broken her heart into pieces.
Ever since that that it was safety pinned together but never really healed.
She always assumed it would take the right one to fully mend it back together. When she'd be able to let someone into her life again, if she would be able to, that had been a question for her ever since.
When Charles started racing for Prema the dynamic in their group of friends changed. In 2017, for the first time she could remember, they didn't watch the Grand Prix together from the balcony of the tall yellow building Ben was living in back then.
Charles had invited his friends to join him in the Formula Two paddock. It would be his first time racing the streets of his home country.
Elle and Fiona took him up on that offer without a second thought. They were so keen to be part of the action, to watch their friend race in the streets they grew up in and most importantly, to be there to support him.
Celeste and Ben hadn't been too excited about it his offer. They still weren't the greatest fans of motorsport and other than enjoying the time spent together with their friends, thought of it as rather boring. Resulting in them declining the invitation.
Fiona remembered the day of the 2017 Grand Prix almost like it happened yesterday. On that morning, her and Ben had a huge fight about her joining Charles and not him and Celeste, who were still keeping the tradition of watching from his place.
For her, it was clear why she had to join Charles and not her boyfriend.
It was his first home race and she had to be there to support her best friend. She knew in her heart it was the right decision. The only one to make.
