My brothers best friends

Chapter 4 hate hate and all hatefulness

I woke up in the middle of the night. My heart was pounding and I had just finished screaming about my night mare I just had. I heard running footsteps across the floor. My door slammed open and it was Michael. "Alicia is everything alright" I was gonna say yes everything is but then I remembered about him getting annoyed and it made me mad so I sort of snapped "um yea can you just go I'm tired I was about to fall asleep" I said with attitude. " I was just making sure you were ok is everything alright" "well everything was when you weren't here and I was alone" I didn't mean to say that now I feel guilty. "Well I'll be going now" he said as he slowly walked out of the room with sorrowness. "Michael I'm so sorry I didn't mean that I'm glad your here and I'm glad your my brother" I said and he turned around. " it's ok I know how girls on when they are on their period" oh no he didn't. "WELL FOR YOUR INFI I HAVENT GOTTEN MINE" I yelled and we both laugh as he closes my bedroom door. I lay back down and think about how that was one of the reasons Catherine bullied me. Every girl was going through puberty expect me. I fall asleep feeling hollow with all of her words she said running through my head. I decided to just stay awake since I can't fall asleep so I grab my phone and scroll threw Twitter. I smiled reading all of the nice comments I get on my pictures but I frown as I soon see this. @aliciaclifford323 I feel bad for Michael that he has a sister like you. Your too ugly and a slut for him. He deserves way better than you-@carry2345. I also saw another one that was pretty harsh @aliciaclifford323 your just useless and you should go kill yourself and never be seen no one would care, I least I wouldn't, I would be laughing my heart out.-@crazyforcliffordchick. She was right. They were both right. I don't deserve to be his sister. I'm ugly and fat and I should kill my self. I mean I'm not anything to anyone. I'm alone and I deserve to die.I think it's time I thought. I get up and lock my bedroom door. I walk over to my bathroom and look at the trash with the blade in it up and close my bathroom door and put a towel at the bottom and lock it so Michael wouldn't hear. I lift my pajama shorts a little higher and dug the blade into my thighs. It hurt a lot but it was worth it. I make 3 lines and I decided it was enough for now. I cry with the hateful thoughts running through my head. I put the blade in my mirror cabinet and grab the towel and clean myself up. That's better. I'm 1/4 with being dead. I just need 4/4 to be done completely with myself. Yea that's it. I put the towel in the trash can and I bandage my thy. I walk to my bed and lay down while my eyes burn from the tears. I eventually cry myself to sleep.