fluffy - axel x mark

61 - miles and miles

"Hey, Nathan!"

Nathan sighed. It was Miles again. As much as he didn't want to talk to her again, he found himself sitting with her by the river again.

"So, you coming back?"

"I don't know. There's just something I love about soccer,"said Nathan.

"Hmm. I can tell you do, but there's something else,"Miles said.

Nathan gulped as he could feel her turquoise eyes burning into his brown ones.

"I know we haven't been as close lately as we used to be, but there's something. You can do soccer and track, you know? You don't have to hang around with the soccer team as much as you do. Which leads me to believe,"Miles scooted closer to Nathan, her eyes never leaving his,"That it's someone keeping you in the soccer club!"

Nathan's face burned. How did she know? He thought he had hid it so well. If somebody as dense as Miles could figure it out, everybody else had too! Nathan tried to keep his mind from racing, but eventually couldn't.

Was it that obvious? Were all his efforts of keeping his feelings discreet in vain?!

"Uh, n-no, that's not it! It's just the sport!"Nathan exclaimed. "Honestly I'm just passionate!"

Miles narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe you at all! Which girl is it, huh?"

Nathan audibly gasped, but was too awestruck to correct her. He listened in stunned silence as she rambled, her face getting redder and more passionate which each word she spoke.

"Is it Sylvia? Her tomboyish side? How she efficiently runs the team? Or is it Celia, the quiet journalist type? Or are you like every other stupid guy on the planet and you like the stereotypical pretty girl, Nelly? Even though she's a horrible person?!"Miles was screaming now, tears of passion in her eyes.

"The whole school can hear you..."Nathan muttered quietly.

"Why was I never good enough for you, Nathan?!"Miles yelled.

She stared at Nathan's blank and embarrassed expression for a few seconds before whispering,"Why was the idea of you and me being together always out of the question to you?"

Nathan gulped and guiltily looked into her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Miles."

He recognised the hurt look in her eyes. It was the same look that stared back at him every time he looked in the mirror because of Mark.

"Why don't you like me, Nathan? What makes the lucky girl that you do like so much better than me?"she said, tears glistening her eyes. "Why am I not good enough for you?"

He couldn't stand seeing the hurt in his old friend's eyes. The only reason he had ever pulled away from her is because of her crush on him. He thought that it would go away, and that they could be friends. Because he was gay.

He had to tell her he was gay.

"Miles?"Nathan eventually said, breaking the silence. "You are right that I like somebody else."

She sniffed. "I'm sorry. I'm happy for you, but it really hurts right now. I've just always wanted it to be us. But I'll be happy for whatever girl that you've chosen."

"Uh, the thing is, Miles, I don't like girls at all,"Nathan said awkwardly. "There's nothing about you that I don't like, I just don't like girls at all."

Miles just looked at him. "Man, I feel like such a fool now. Dramatically confessing my love and all that. But why didn't you tell me years ago?"

"I don't know,"Nathan sighed.

"Wait. So does that mean there is a guy you like on the soccer team?"Miles said hopefully.

Nathan sighed. "Yeah, but don't get your hopes up. He's with somebody else."

"Oh, is he straight?"

"No. That makes it worse though, honestly,"Nathan sighed.

"What? Somebody on the soccer team has a boyfriend? Damn, who?"Miles' eyes widened.

"I'm not gonna say for privacy reasons. Their relationship is secret for now,"Nathan said. "But it still hurts. So I kinda get how you feel."

"Does he know you like him?"

"No. And he won't ever know,"Nathan said, a tone of finality in his voice.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Miles sighed. "Man, I missed you. I missed the way it used to be, before I liked you and stuff."

"I agree. It is nice, now that you know,"Nathan sighed. "Still doesn't feel any better."

"Are you ever going to come back to track?"

"I've thought about it. He talks about his boyfriend so much it hurts, you know? And seeing them together really puts salt in the wound. But I'll manage, Miles. I mean, you did."

"But I never had to see you with somebody else,"Miles sighed.

Nathan checked his watch. "The chat was nice, but you'll be late to your track meet."

Miles smiled. "Aww, you still know when they're on?"

"Of course I do,"Nathan smiled.

Miles got up and slung her gear bag over her shoulder. "If it ever gets too much for you, remember that you'll always be welcome on the track team!"

"Thank you, Miles,"Nathan said quietly as the blonde girl zoomed off to her track meet. As soon as she was out of sight, he sighed and it was as if he felt his body lighten a little.