Peculiar [PSLU #1] [GL]

HER POV (REVISED)

Have you already experienced being in a situation where you always have to prove yourself? In a way that in order for people to accept you is to always be the better version of yourself. I didn't even know who am I anymore, I knew that I was acting like a puppet who certainly forgot about her own emotions and feelings that she couldn't even figure out who she really was. I was that kind of person. I don't even know if I'm really qualified to be considered a human.

I was barely living, I was living in a world where there's no room for mistakes, and I just had to do it to protect them.

"Danny, you have to be successful in order for you to be accepted in the Cervantes family."

At a very young age, I was already been practiced to become the woman who will only gain success if I did what I had to do. I couldn't even be myself, I was lost. To the point that I don't even know which way to go.

Para akong binibihisan na manika, and whatever they plan that they think it suits me the most then that's the only way.

"Ate, do you want me to talk to lolo about you wanting to become a professor? Ako na sasalo ng responsibilities mo, I don't mind." But my sister was the one who was always there for me.

She was the only one who can understand me.

"He wouldn't like it you know, baka ipatapon pa ako sa ibang bansa kapag nalaman niya."

"No, it is your choice ate. Maganda naman ang profession na gusto mo ah? I'll support you ate, hayaan mo na siya. I'm too big enough para tumulong na sa business. Do what you always wanted to do, you deserve to be free."

Freedom, I didn't know how that works. I was always been chained up by our lolo. He will always keep on saying that I should be like him, I should be like that and I should be doing this.

Shame, if only I could be like a bird. Maybe I would know what it feels like.

I passed the exam and became an Architect, at first of course our lolo didn't even approve it. But my sister and I, this was one of our dreams together, we wanted to design our house dahil sabi niya kapag di daw siya nakapag asawa at ako ay magtayo nalang kami ng sarili naming bahay. She was young, cute and selfless, she would always make me feel na dapat kong sundin kung saan talaga ako sasaya.

She would always support me.

"Miss, tulungan na kita." But there's this girl who suddenly likes to annoy me around. She would always go to my office para manggulo, she was this being childish at playful. Parang kakalaya lang dahil matagal ng nakakulong. Para siyang puppy na sunod ng sunod sakin.

I don't even get why was being like this to me and I don't like what I feel kapag malapit siya. Hindi ako tanga at manhid para hindi maintindihan kung ano yun..I just hate it.

I don't want changes. No, I'm just not used to this.

"Ma'am mamahalin mo ba ako kung naging ipis ako?" She would also joke around and ask these kinds of things kaya lagi nalang ako napapailing.

"No, who would love a cockroach?" Pagtataray ko kaya rumihistro sakanya ang gulat dahil sa pangbabara ko.

"Ang sakit mo naman mag salita, Ma'am." Napahawak pa siya sa dibdib niya.