Peculiar [PSLU #1] [GL]

P44.5 (NEW CHAPTER)

(unedited++)

Daniella's POV

The gentle sweetness in my face faded away when I heard her respond. A minute ago, I claimed myself to be marupok when it comes to her which I initially agreed. However, there was a bit rush blood boiled that sent in my entire body.

That I, all the time was giving my entire self to everyone, but I wasn't able to receive their sincerity and fullness- since they are meant to be for someone in the first place.

And that made come into my senses. I unconsciously push her away from me, leaving confused expression on her face. My lips parted, tears started to formed in my pupils as I began to wonder, to where do I really belong?

For being just a savior? 2nd choice? Or maybe she was able to recognize my sister in me because of my face? Even my own grandfather don't even acknowledge my own existence not until my sister made a choice of choosing herself. How about me? To where do I get a justice on myself?

"Are you speaking to me as me, or you're pertaining to someone else who looks like me?" I managed to spoke after a seconds of silent.

"Daniella..." Her eyes widen.

"Just few days ago, you were claiming that my sister is who you love. Pero ngayon sasabihin mo sakin na what? You love me?" Madiin kong sabi. "I don't want to ruin the atmosphere that we had earlier and I really appreciate that you made the first move so that we can have that conversation, but I can't help to remember kung paano mo ipagdiinan sakin na hindi mo ko nagustuhan."

"D-Did I fail to communicate my feelings towards to you this time?" She stuttered.

"You always fail, but this time I'm not even sure if I were to believe you. Yes, we may have talked earlier but that doesn't change the fact how you bluntly slapped me in the face with your words." Nanlamig ang mga mata kong nakatitig sakanya.

"Look I'm trying-"

"So say it Lawson, hindi mo pa sinasagot tanong ko. Para kanino tong note na to, sa ate ko o s-sakin?" Pinipilit kong wag manginig ang boses ko pero hindi ko mapigilan.

"Of course it was meant for you!"

"Then why do I feel something is missing Guinevere? Why do I feel like parang sa tingin mo makukuha mo ko sa isang salita at halika lang? Isn't it unfair how can you easily sweep me off with your presence. When all I had been doing was to wait for you to finally notice me? So why out of all the people who wanted me...why is it have to be you?"

I started to cry again, but this time it was because of my inner feelings that I had been keeping for years. Ngayon lang biglang nag sink in sakin ang lahat.

Na ako lang tong bigay na bigay pero ni wala pa sa kalahati ang natatanggap ko pabalik. It is not like they are responsible for it, pero paano ako? Paano naman ang efforts ko? Paano naman ang ilang taon kong pagtitiis na maging option kapag wala ang ate ko?

"I thought that the talk that we had earlier was enough.." She uttered heavily, eyes gazed fixed on me. "But I never thought of you that way, believe me Vienn. I was just really having a hard time to accept everything, pero sa dulo naintindihan ko naman na magkaiba kayo, na oo minahal ko siya. Pero Vienn, kasi minahal ko nalang eh...tapos na.."

"Pero when you were gone for yours, you thought of her right? You thought that you were still in love with her."  A bitter smile appeared on my lips when she wasn't able to respond urgently, and that I knew that I was right.

I was right all along yet I was too harsh on myself thinking that I, maybe had a place on her heart.

"And I love you Vienn, and I love you still. Yes, I thought I did that's why I was gone for years, to figure out how to accept everything and to finally let go what Vera and I both have." She uttered, her lips quiver and squinted her eyes in order not to cry. "Hindi naman kasi madali rin sakin Vienn, minahal ko kapatid mo and I wasn't able to say goodbye to her during her last moments thinking na akala ko mabubuhay pa siya nung mga panahon na yun."