Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

Trouble in Ikea

"Dude, why are we hanging out at Ikea for your birthday?" Jean asked Connie.

"Because I wanted to go to a fun place to mess around," Connie shrugged.

"Then why not the ice rink?" Eren asked.

"Or the mall," Sasha suggested. "Or the bowling alley, or your house."

"Well, I didn't want to run into anyone we knew from school again," Connie stated. "So not the ice rink or the mall, Bowling is literally 90% waiting, and my house is being fumigated."

"Ikea, it is," Armin nodded.

✎➕➖✖➗✐

"Guys, let's role play a family!" Connie exclaimed.

"Why?" Annie asked.

"Perfect, Annie, you be the teenage sister," Connie said.

Annie facepalmed. "The things you get me into."

"Why are we doing this, exactly?" Reiner asked.

"To make it fun!" Connie answered.

"Think about it," Sasha jumped in. "A family of friends."

"And what makes you think I'm going to do it?" Ymir asked.

"You can be the lesbian aunt," Sasha replied.

"I'm in," Ymir stated.

"Mikasa, you are the mother," Connie said. "Eren, you are the father."

"Reiner is the gay uncle," Sasha winked at Reiner.

"Oh hell yeah," he winked back.

"Bertolt and Christa are obviously the lovers if the homos," Connie assigned. "And Sasha, Annie, Armin, Marco, and I are the kids of Mikasa and Eren." Connie then looked over at Jean. "And you can be the cat.

"Why?" Jean asked.

"Because it's Connie's flipping birthday," Sasha stated. "Lets do this!"

And they had the uttermost attention and support of the whole group. They were so supportive, that the friends all groaned in disgust.

✎➕➖✖➗✐

"Connie, get in the cart!" Sasha ordered.

Connie hopped in and Sasha pushed them down the path as Connie kneeled at the front with his arms out singing the titanic song.

"My heart will go on~" Connie and Sasha croaked.

Eren sighed. "Children, calm down."

"Are we seriously doing this?" Armin asked.

"Just go with it," Marco whispered.

"I will ground you both if you don't stop," Mikasa threatened.

"Aw come on, let the kids have fun!" Reiner said.

"We like uncle Reiner! He let's is play!" Sasha whined.

"This is painful," Jean rubbed his forehead.

"The cat can talk?!" Sasha exclaimed. "But cats can't talk!" Sasha and Connie glared holes into Jean.

Jean let out a long, defeated sigh. "Meow."

"Still don't want to be a part of this," Annie muttered.

"Yeah," Ymir shrugged with her arm around Christa's shoulder. "But it's family and we're kinda stuck with them. But be like me niece. Like girls and adopt a cat," Ymir pulled Jean over.

"Meow," Jean said.

"Reiner!" Bertolt cried. "I swear on Jean's life that was the tenth time you groped me today," he tried to whisper loudly at Reiner, but it was loud enough so that anyone within a five meter radius can hear.

"Oops," Reiner smirked. "My hand slipped. Again."

"Why swear on my life?" Jean asked.

"Cat," Connie said in a warning tone.

"Meow?"

"Let's eat some Swedish meatballs!" Eren suggested.

"Yeah!" Sasha and Connie exclaimed in delight.

✎➕➖✖➗✐

"I'll be right back," Sasha stated as she stood up and ran from the table once they got settled.

"Kitty!" Christa nearly shouted in terror. "You can eat meatballs?"

"Meow, meow, motherfucker. I can eat whatever I want," Jean stated.

"The cat can talk," Mikasa said. "I say we should take it to the pound."

"Or the sewers," Eren looked at Jean in disgust. Jean hissed at Eren.

"Excuse me for a second," Armin said as he stood up. "I'm going to use the bathroom."

"What if it has rabies?" Ymir gasped at Jean.

"We're gonna have to put it down," Reiner stated.

"No, we don't need to," Jean states.

"We might need to, just in case," Annie said.

"Hey Connie!" He heard from behind him. As Connie turned around, he saw Sasha with a present and Armin with a cake.

"We all got a cake for you!" Armin smiled.

"And I bought you a little something from here," Sasha gave Connie the box. He opened it to see a stuffed broccoli with a smiley face.

"That is so neat!" Connie said. "I shall name it Sir Broccoli."

Sasha laughed. "Such originality!"

"Thanks Sasha!" Connie exclaimed.

"Happy birthday, Connie!" Everyone shouted.

"Congratulations," Annie stated. "You are now one year closer to death."

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