Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

Dawn of the Dead

Levi was sitting peacefully in his jazz band class which he decided to take that year since he had an extra block and nothing to do. Since he knew how to play the bass guitar and since he was literate in music, he decided to give it a go. The only other person he knew who was in jazz band was unfortunately Erwin who was one of the two electric guitar players.

They had just gotten new music that they had to learn so the room was filled with the sound of smooth jazz bouncing off the walls. But Levi didn't mind. He still was miraculously able focus and hear his thoughts. Most of the time, he couldn't even hear himself think because of-

"LEVI!" Hanji shouted as she kicked in the band room door.

Levi knew hearing himself think was too good to be true.

He sighed. "What is it-"

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY????? AND AND... I'M A SENIOR!" Hanji screamed in horror.

"What's wrong with her?" Erwin asked as he walked out of the storage room, hearing the commotion.

"She's having a senior crisis," Levi explained.

"I need to go out with a bang!" Hanji collapsed to the ground as she tugged on her already messy hair. "I need to blow more things up."

"Now, Hanji," Levi said. "How many explosions did we say we want to make a week?"

"Less than 50," Hanji pouted.

"And how many did you make today?" Levi asked.

"45," Hanji said quietly.

"In one block?" Erwin asked.

"Save those five explosions for the rest of the week," Levi instructed.

"Too late," Hanji said as she pulled out a remote and pressed a red button. Five explosions followed from various areas of the school as the ground shook beneath them.

"What did you blow up?" Levi sighed.

"Um," Hanji tapped her chin. "A robotic moving shoe, the quarantined area of the school with HZ-28, a leftover granola bar from, like... two years ago, Mr. Su-HOO's toupee, and Erwin's car's back left tire bolt adjacent to the ground."

"That is oddly specific," Erwin blinked.

"Wait a minute," Levi stated. "Isn't HZ-28 dangerous?"

Hanji shrugged indifferently. "No one's inhaled it long enough for me to find out so I thought I'd try it out on the innocent children."

"Hanji, what if you just killed us all?" Levi spat.

"Levi, I'm not stupid," Hanji scoffed. "I try not to make my 500+ mixture deadly. Just oddly dangerous."

The a beep rang through the PA system at that moment. "Students, we need the L200 hallway to vacate the area. There is a potentially harmful sinking purple substance drifting out of the quarantined classroom. I repeat: vacate the area."

"Oh," Erwin remembered. "This was the one that made your fart smell like jelly beans."

"With possible side effects, but yes," Hanji nodded. "That was the goal."

"What possible side effects?" Levi asked with concern.

The announcements came on once more. "Students! Please remain in your classrooms. Do not - I repeat - DO NOT walk down the L 200 hallways. The substance is turning students into mindless, walking corpses. If you see a purple sinking vapor, cover your mouth and nose and run the opposite direction. If infected, please exit the school to get fresh air. Symptoms of infection include: jellybean-smelling farts. Stay safe - no! NO! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME! GAH-"

There was a short silence before Levi thwacked Hanji in the head.

"Hey!"

"You started a damn apocalypse!" Levi scolded her.

"Um, it's a bean-pocalypse mind you," Hanji corrected.

"Do you see the kind of situation she gets us into?" Levi asked while gesturing at her to Erwin.

"We need to survive," Erwin uttered, holding up his electric guitar in brain-smashing weapon position.

"Well," Levi sighed. "Shit. Here we go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: AHHH IM LATE FOR HANJI-SAN'S BIRTHDAY!!! I'm SOWWIE;~;

And I know hanji's b-day is technically on Labor Day this year but whatevs. She's in school now. Also expect the next chapter having to do with tHE BEAN-POCOLYPSE...

(DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN)