Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

The Great Granola Bar Case

After being bossed around by Shadis in PE, Isabel and Hanji walked back to the girls locker room to change.

"There is one thing that the girls' locker room is notorious for," Hanji warned. "And it's for the thieves."

At first, Isabel thought Hanji was just kidding, but it would soon strike close to home.

"Oh man!" Isabel whined as she peeked inside her lunchbox.

Suddenly, Hanji appeared behind her. "I heard the sound of distress." Her glasses reflected the lights, concealing the mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"My granola bar is gone!" Isabel said.

Hanji got uncomfortably closer. "What kind?"

Isabel hesitated. Hanji was definitely invading her personal space. "Chocolate chip."

"The best kind!" Hanji exclaimed as she straightened her posture and got into her thinking position. She tapped her chin while dramatically looking off in the distance. "I have an idea!"

Hanji whispered something in Isabel's ear, but immediately, she rejected it.

"No way!" Isabel said. "I'm not risking looking like a weirdo! I just moved here."

"Well, you hang out with me sooo..." Hanji pointed out.

"Okay, but I'm still not doing it," Isabel crossed her arms.

"Then bring another granola bar because we are going to chip away at the problem until we get to the chocolately core of it," Hanji giggled.

"Was that supposed to be a pun?" Isabel asked.

Hanji paused for a second. "Yes. Yes it was."

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Day 1 of The Great Granola Bar Case

Hanji violently slammed her locker shut. "Oh! Good!" She shouted for whoever was in the locker room to hear. "No one took my CHOCOLATE CHIP GRANOLA BAR!"

Isabel facepalmed. It sounded way too rehearsed.

"Too bad I can't eat it!"
Hanji continued as she jumped onto a bench. "Because I am allergic to CHOCOLATE CHIP GRANOLA BARS! Who here wants to steal my CHOCOLATE CHIP GRANOLA BAR!"

No one answered. They all just stared at Hanji. She jumped back down and walked back to Isabel. "Is it safe?" She whispered.

"Yeah," Isabel stated as she took her granola bar out from her locker. "You know what? Why don't we forget about the granola bar thief and I just lock my bars up from now on-"

"NO!" Hanji shouted dramatically. "We shall find the murderer!"

Isabel tried to correct her. "You mean thief-"

"I MEAN MURDERER!" Hanji reiterated. "And I bet the butler stole the granola bar!" She announced loudly.

Everyone one in the locker room, once again, stared at Hanji as if she put on a jetpack and flew out of the building, which was Isabel's rather irrational fear.

After all the girls returned to their business, Hanji didn't budge. "There goes Plan B..."

"That was a plan?" Isabel asked.

✎➕➖✖➗✐
Day 2 of The Great Granola Bar Case

Once again, the girls returned from PE. This time, Hanji stood upon the benches and cleared her throat.

"I will leave this granola bar out here in the open!" She announced. "And I shall go to the bathroom and come back in about 75 seconds." Hanji walked into the bathroom casually as Isabel kept a close eye on the bar, but no one took it.

Hanji walked out to be disappointed. "Does no one seriously want this?" She asked. "No one at all? One of you is a liar! A giant, filthy liar!"

"Hanji, please stop," Isabel begged.

Hanji put on her thinking cap again as she devised another plan. "Can I have this granola bar?" She asked.

"I gave it to you to try to find the thief," Isabel answered, rather annoyed of Hanji's persistence.

"Okay," Hanji answered. By her face, Isabel could tell that Hanji was hiding a mischievous, insidious plan.

✎➕➖✖➗✐
Day 3 of The Great Granola Bar Case

Isabel checked in her lunchbox that day. "What do you know? It's gone," Isabel stated unenthusiastically to Hanji. "So what did you do to that bar?"

"Watch and learn," Hanji simply said.

She jumped on the bench and made her presence known. "Listen here, bitches. Don't any one of you move! Don't think I don't see you, Rico! Put that weapon down!"

Isabel was confused at Hanji like everyone else. "She's holding a sports bra-"

"It can be used as a weapon!" Hanji snapped. "Anywho~

One of you has been stealing granola bars! And I will find out who!"

Hanji raised up a remote with a red button. "I am a lady of science! And I have invented the world's first exploding chocolate chip granola bar!" Hanji exclaimed.

"Oh, no," Isabel facepalmed for the fifth time that week at Hanji's actions. She anticipated bad results.

"Oh yes!" Hanji exclaimed. "In five seconds, I shall press the button and the girl who stole Isabel's granola bar today shall have it go 'pop!' wherever it is! Five!" Hanji counted. "Four!" Her finger moved closer to the button. "Three! Two! One-"

"Stop!" Shouted a random girl. "I stole it."

"I don't believe you!" Hanji pointed accusingly at the girl. "Where's the proof?"

The girl took out the concealed granola bar.

Hanji gasped dramatically. "You thief!" However, she suddenly started to laugh. "Oh you should have seen all of your faces. I lied!"

Everyone looked at her, confused and scared as Hanji laughed her ass off.

"There was no exploding granola bar!" Hanji explained. "I was just trying to trick the sucker, which was unfortunately you," Hanji pointed at the girl, "to fess up!"

"So you mean you didn't load that thing with explosives?" Isabel asked.

"PSYCH!" Hanji pressed the button and the granola bar exploded in the girl's face.

Hanji stood there expressionless as the girl tried to pat out the flames.

Hanji used her nasally voice to conclude the case. "Science biatch."

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