Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

The Story of Thanksgiving

"Girl, I can't wait to hit them shops for Black Friday!" Sasha exclaimed.

"Same," Ymir said as she leaned Christa's shoulder. "This cold angry lesbian is in desperate need of new flannels."

"Meanwhile, we're here thinking about the food!" Connie butted in.

"Um, guys," Christa spoke up.

"I like food, too!" Sasha stood up. "The gravy, the mashed potatoes, the gravy, the turkey!" Sasha gasped dramatically. "The PIE!"

"Guys!" Christa called out a little louder. Still, no one heard her.

"I firmly believe that Armin makes the best pies!" Eren stated. "And I think he should make three this year since two didn't last us the previous year."

"Guys..." She groaned.

"Oh, I'm making five pies this year," Armin stated. "I can't believe Sasha ate an entire pie by herself."

"Hey! Hey! Those pies were delicious," Sasha argued.

"You incompetent dickwads! Listen the fuck up!" Christa bellowed. Immediately, everyone was silenced. "Thank you!" She smiled. "Listen, guys! Thanksgiving isn't about the food! And it surely isn't about the sales either! Have we completely forgotten about the true meaning of Thanksgiving?"

Jean raised his hand meekly, afraid to further fuel the anger of the beast. "The thing with pilgrims?"

"You ignorant bitch-ass ho, of course it had to do with the fucking pilgrims!" Christa shouted which made Jean coward behind Marco.

"Don't tell me I actually need to tell you the story of Thanksgiving," Christa stated. Everyone murmured in disinterest.

"Fine!" Christa stated. "I'll tell you!"

"Someone save us," Reiner murmured under his breath.

Christa cleared her throat as she prepared to retell the story. "Let's do dis."

"Can we continue?" Armin asked meekly.

"Shut the hell up!" Christa snapped back. She cleared her throat once again. "Once upon a long-ass time ago, some stupid pilgrims came to this stupid country."

"All aboard the ship called the Mayflower!" Connie stated.

"NO!" Christa called. "Connie, you stupid cheese omelet! It was called the Ocelot."

"The Ocelot?" Armin questioned. "That's historically inaccurate-

"YOU'RE HISTORICALLY INACCURATE!" Christa bellowed.

"Okay."

"Where was I?" Christa questioned.

"The Ocelot?" Jean reminded her.

"Right..." Christa stated.

✎a long-ass time ago✐

Once upon a long-ass time ago, some stupid pilgrims came to this stupid country aboard the Ocelot. They were searching for the most important treasure of the time: the Michael Bublé Christmas Album.

-

"Wait hold on," Armin interrupted.

"Shut your useless taco and let me preach history as it is!" Christa shouted.